Semi-Charmed

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2011-12-07T10:16:00.001-08:00

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A Long-Overdue Update (which is actually disjointed messages to Ange)

2011-09-23T07:16:00.000-07:00

Ange posted an update recently about new challenges occuring at middle school. I'm sure if you're reading this, you know Ange. After all, she is the queen of the late-talking Mom bloggers. But, just in case, be sure and read her and Jack's story. It made me call the Camaratas. (Note: messages are edited slightly, mainly for grammar.)

Ange,

I'm posting this on my iPad so hell. It will be riddled with errors. Deep breath. Yes, hormones. You may remember that we have had my stepson since he was 13. Yowsa. Was not prepared for that in a boy. Bad from 12 to 15 in my case, my knowledge.

The have to have things "his" way? Like, where he puts his glass at "exactly" the same spot and what time we do things? Holy moly. If I tell him were taking a bath at 7 and try to put him in at 6:58? No. He sits in the same place and has his routine and if gets out of it except for certain things, ball games, only on weekends btw, he will freak.

Tried tiny football and quit. Loved the exercises but couldn't take the stance for 9 minutes then action for 30 seconds. I am a perfectionist. Are you? Is this why this is extremely hard or would it be this hard anyway? I wonder.

I resonate with your post and applaud you for telling the raw hard truth. I am already seeing in first grade many kids separating from him.

Doing great, gradewise, though. Still in resource. Can't handle the whole group. May be this will be my next blog post. I have been bad, but don't know one day what the next day will bring.

###

Forgot to say...love you lots. Blips in road for all of us. Stepson got another D. Been a struggle with him for different reasons. Yet, he is a football star so who cares? That was sarcastic. Hardy freaking har.
###

Ok. Another one. Curt also fought sleep. When he went to preschool and napped, it was midnight or 1 a.m. before we could get him to sleep. Only then did he start sleeping in our bed so we could get some sleep! Unfortunately, he still does. Not a queen or a king. Full size. Ouch.

The worst is that he is still such a picky eater. Won't try anything. When I say he eats five things, I am not exagerating! People look at me like I'm such a bad parent, "Just make him eat! If he gets hungry enough, he'll eat!" WRONG, people. He would go through pre-school all day not eating a thing. His doctor made me feel better. She said, "Eating and potty training you cannot win. It has to be their decision. He's getting what he needs. He's better off than lots of kids who just eat junk." Whew.What he gets is Boost Plus in the morning and evening and gummy vitamins. And some of those five things...

Where he seems to be different than Jack is this: Jack worries, Curt does not. He does not give a RIP about what other people think. Sometimes it's downright embarrassing. Sometimes I'm proud of him for it. First grade boys don't want to hug, unfortunately.

Hugs.

###

OK, you're going to wish you hadn't asked me for stories! What we did to help sleep. Curt has always had to take antihistimines for his allergies. I read one day about this certain Rx. Side effects were sleepiness, hunger and constipation. I called the doctor THAT day and he bean taking Periactin (generic is cyproheptadine) ever since. It has helped tremendously.

Yeah I'm THAT kind of Mom

2011-05-05T09:08:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe Kindergarten is behind us. I mean, school is not over, but the testing is done this week and Kindergarden graduation is next week, so for all practical purposes, it's a done deal.

We had our IEP this week. Wow. No behavior goals for next year because none are needed. Can you freaking be-LIEVE it? To be ready for first grade, teachers want them to test above 90 on a level 4-5. Curt tested 92 at level 9 and 90 at level 10! (No, I really don't know what that means as I haven't seen the test, but I know it's damned good!)

He is still scoring low on the DIBEL test, but it is based much on language, from what I understand, so that is not surprising.

So, we needed to decide (as a team) how much academic time he will spend in the regular classroom and how much do we want him to receive resource services.

Our answer might surprise you.

He is going to be in the standard classroom for math (appears to be his strongest area), science and social studies, but we recommended he go to resourse for reading, spelling and language. (Reading is 45 minutes in first grade as opposed to 15 minutes in Kindergarten.) Yes, husband and I actually requested this.

What I thought would be the kiss of death for him has been the best thing. He would not be where he is academically if not for the one-on-one and small group help. The Resource (special ed for you newbies) is WONDERFUL and truly loves him. This school is wonderful for him.

The year ended in a way I could not have believed in August.

He was named Citizen of the Month for April. (Bottom row, far right)

I never thought I'd be the kind of person who would put their child's bumper sticker award (they do magnets now) on my car. You know, "My child is an honor student at blankety-blank school." I mean, come on, how hokey is that? Yet, it's there.

"My child is a Citizen of the Month at DES."

Ready or not, first grade -- here we come.

Yeah...That's What I Meant!

2011-03-29T09:13:00.000-07:00

I've tried to explain my thoughts on this, but could never do as well as this....

Two Minutes Self-Endulgence
http://www.alittlepregnant.com/alittlepregnant/

PS. Curt is doing well. Currently (and hopefully for a long time, he loves school.) Super Great Job!!

And the Sun Shone Through

2011-01-17T17:27:00.000-08:00

An update on our situation.

The IEP meeting was brutal. I took Cowboy and my mom (a retired K teacher) with me for moral support.

It seems state funding does not now fund aides in the class. So, he would be removed from class 2-3 hours a day for one-on-one study. I was devastated. "Special Ed." In my day, it was the death sentence.

Yet, I agreed. He had to learn and he wasn't learning like this.

So, I did.

Since September, our lives have changed. Dare I say it? For the BETTER.

He loves his resource teacher, Mrs. Debbie, VERY MUCH. And, she is doing wonders.

He received the first "Principal's Award" in his class. A new award which is basically...Most Improved. He has also received nothing but S's on his two report cards so far -- and they are standardized. It was more his behavior than his ability that caused this. And it is working out. He was supposed to write to 12 on his last report card....he wrote to 56....when he ran out of paper.

His language is improving ten-fold. People understand him. People besides me.

What I feared worst for him could be the best thing that ever happened to him. Mrs. Debbie obviously loves him. When I went into the follow-up meeting, she came in with Kleenex. I thought, "This cannot be good." However, it was for her. She adores him.

If anyone who has a LT child is reading this, know, it will get better. It will not be a quick fix, but it will happen. I can't tell you how happy I am when I get a report, "Super Great Week!"

In other news, I received a promotion at work. As long and hard as I have worked for this, it pales in comparison to my child's hard work. He is reading. He is adding. He is thriving. Thank God. I have my bad days, but they are becoming fewer and farther between.

I just thank Ange and Missy and all the others who have encouraged me along the way.

Go, Sistas.

Peanuts, revisited.

2010-11-17T13:52:00.000-08:00

To my little man who made all S's (that's A's for Kindergarten) on his first report card. With "Super Great Job" and a smiley face from his teacher(s). He is still being pulled out for his work, but he loves both his teachers. I am actually OK with this. He works better in a small group or one-on-one.

OK, two S-'s. One for handwriting (yep) and one for staying seated for asked. Hell, I'm excited about an S- in that!

He is happy at school. He is happy after-school at Becky's. And he loves his mommy. "And Daddy, too" as Curt would say.

And, he is still obsessed with his peanuts....

"Girls don't have peanuts."
"Only boys have peanuts."
"Curt has peanuts."

and my favorite...

"Curt has big peanuts."

(Those fishing stories start VERY early, it seems.)

2010-10-09T21:37:00.000-07:00

Sorry to have been gone for so long. Life is kicking my ass.

Curt is doing MUCH better at school, according to the meeting I had last week.

We went over all the "have tos" and then the principal left. And then, they started talking. The lady who seemed the most harsh cried, she loves him so much.

I am in a better place.

And, Curt has a loose tooth. Exciting times!

Hang in there with me. This has been hard. The hardest is behind us, they say. Pray that is the case.

PS had to defend Autism and ADD, but it went ok. Thank God for the C's. The two pictured above are why I get up every morning. And, aren't they handsome?

Dear Former Day Care Director....

2010-08-29T16:25:00.000-07:00

Dear Former Day-Care Director,

This is my fault. I usually have a feeling about people. I either trust you or I don't. And, I trusted you. I feel stupid now.

You made me feel like this was a "family." I bought into that. What a fool I was.

You took my child home with you "after-school" less than a month ago to play with your boys,. If he is a monster, why in the world would you want to do that?

You said, "It is not working out." On a Facebook message. Curt was there almost two years. I don't think he has changed much. I think your personnel has changed and you don't want to deal with it. But, you could have talked to me in person -- or, at least on the phone to give me this major decision.

I gave you money for almost two years. Lots of money. But, I trusted you with my child. That is worth so much more. You gave me three days to find an alternative. That doesn't seem fair.

At very least of my concerns, I thought we were friends. I feel very betrayed. I will not get over this any time soon. And, when we went to soccer practice Thursday and I saw your car, I almost drove away. But, you did. Because you feel bad. And, dammit, you should.

PS. This teacher WILL be abusive to another child. Just give it time. It will happen. And, by the way? You can't kick my kid out because he has a disability. Not that I care. I don't want him there if he is not wanted. But, a lawsuit is just waiting to happen for you. Most people aren't as nice as I am.

In Which the Other Shoe Drops

2010-08-24T22:23:00.000-07:00

So, the meeting with the school went actually very well. My husband and mother were there with me. A BIP (Behavior Intervention Plan) was initiated and I agree with everything on it. Mary C. called in on the meeting! Excellent! Least Restrictive Environment. You LT moms know what I am saying.

They all agreed he is a very smart little boy. And can be very sweet, when not being a little shit. I questioned later the conprehensive eval, but was told he had never had one since all his IEPs had been done before K. I agree to that. I spoke to the school psychologist today and I fully trust her intentions. Whew. Their goal is to have him out for speech three times a week (which I already knew) and then have him in resourse (that would be special ed for you newbies) the other two days for thirty minutes to work on behavior techniques. I can work with that.

Until day, that was my biggest worry. And, I felt so much better about it. Until...

(now is the moment the other shoe drops...)

We have had an issue with one teacher at his preschool (now afterschool) being excessively harsh to him during time-outs. Losing her cookies, if you will. I complained once before. Yesterday, Curt told me, "Tree (this is his nickname for her) pulled my arm hard and scratched me." This child never offers up anything. So, I sent the director a message today about it. Very nice. Maybe he was talking about the last time? Grain of salt.

The response I got was that his behavior has deteriorated recently. Really? Big School? His two favorite teachers leaving? All within one month? And, he was asked to leave. After a year and a half. Friday being his last day.

Is God testing me? How much more shit can I take? I didn't even cry. I'm sure I will, but I didn't.

He will go to afterschool and I will worry about summer later. Maybe he can go where Tippee now teaches. All things happen for reason. Right?

Edited in an attempt to take the high road....

When the Bough Breaks...

2010-08-18T08:46:00.000-07:00

I was so full of hope after this last year. How well he did on his Kindergarten test and his preschool graduation. My meeting with the school to form a transition plan and to choose a teacher. How proactive I was! I was really getting the hang of all this. Curt is a smart boy and people were seeing that! Everything was going to be fine!

First day of school. Note from Miss M said he hit another child and didn't want to sit still during work or centers. But, there was good news, too! And a happy face in the behavior circle!

Second day. Pretty much the same note. Good things, then bad things. But, still received a happy face for behavior.

Third Day. Again, pretty much the same. But, Happy Face!

Fourth Day as I am walking him into school. The Assistant Principal is outside helping the kids come in. She introduces herself, didn't think we had met. I smiled, shook her hand. She said, "After you take Curt to his room, I'd like for you to stop by my office. I need to talk to you."

And with that, my bubble of hope burst.

We need to meet on Friday to develop a Bahavioral Intervention Plan. They would like him to qualify for additional services he now doesn't qualify for because his "label" if you will is speech. It would have to be changed to developmental delay or social delay to qualify for those additional services. Those "special" services.

The last four years, I have been pounding the pavement to get him to therapies, paying thousands for those theapies and assessments. And I worry.

But I know that if I work hard enough, this will not happen to my child.

Yet, it has.

That hard work is not going to keep me from going to the principal's office Friday for this meeting. Where they get to tell me everything he is doing wrong. Which, basically equates to everything I have done wrong. I have failed myself, and I have failed him.

Pity Party over. See ya on the flipside.

First Day of School

2010-08-12T07:45:00.000-07:00

During the night, I heard a little voice...it seems far away...call to me. "Mommy, help me." Then, I woke up.

I took him to the classroom. He hung up his backpack, sat at his seat and began coloring. I waited for my kiss. It didn't happen. I walked the long hallway and out the door. I got in my car. Only then did I "leak" behind my sunglasses. But, there was no sobbing on an "ugly cry." I consider that a great success.

Perhaps the dream was more about me then about Curt. Oh, my little one, I wish you the happiest day and I hope the teachers can see that wonderful light in your eyes. The picture of you and Tippie is in your school box. She is there with you. I love you.

An Emotional Week and a Poem

2010-08-10T16:53:00.000-07:00

I dedicate this post to those two young women mentioned in the following paragraphs who live it to that standard. Both are going to be teachers. One takes care of Autistic children and wants to a a Special Education teacher. They have been wonderful to Curt and to me. Fly way, T and B. But, don't ever forget how much you have meant to Curt...and to me.

We have had our first problem at preschool. I have shed many tears over this, but feel hopeful it will be resolved. One teacher, when she puts Curt in time-out, loses her cool, screams and holds his hands...until they turned blue. I have formally complained. First time ever.

And his favorite teacher (and person), Miss Tippee's last day was yesterday. His second favorite is leaving to student teach in two weeks. They are sisters and I have become very attached to them. Everything is changing and as I get, ahem, older, change gets harder and harder. It is going to be an emotional week. Found this poem today...it seems poignant. Kindergarten starts Thursday. If you pray, pray for me.

I know Curt can now talk, but....I think you know what I mean....

I Am The Child
(author unknown to me)
I am the child who cannot talk. You often pity me, I see it in your eyes. You wonder how much I am aware of. I see that as well. I am aware of much...whether you are happy or sad or fearful, patient or impatient, full of love and desire , or if you are just doing your duty by me. I marvel at your frustration, knowing mine to be far greater, for I cannot express myself or my needs as you do.

You cannot conceive my isolation, so complete it is at times. I do not gift you with clever conversation, cute remarks to be laughed over and repeated. I do not give you answers to your everyday questions, responses over my well being, sharing my needs, or comments about the world about me. I do not give you rewards as defined by the world's standards...great strides in development that you can credit yourself; I do not give you understanding as you know it.

What I give you is so much more valuable...I give you instead opportunities. Opportunities to discover the depth of your character, not mine; the depth of your love, your commitment, your patience, your abilities; the opportunity to explore your spirit more deeply than you imagined possible. I drive you further than you would ever go on your own, working harder, seeking answers to your many questions with no answers. I am the child who cannot talk.

And Now You Are Six

2010-07-31T22:10:00.000-07:00

Dear Curt,

And now, you are six.

I know it's not double digits, but it's big to me.

Because when you are six, you will start school. August 12 to be exact. And then, my baby will be gone.

If you read this in the future, I want to tell you a little bit about yourself at this particular time. I will number these for reference.

1. You are a stubborn little shit. You do not give up. While this is not the best character for a six-year-old, I hope this will benefit you later in life.

2. You are beautiful. You are charming. You draw people to you (especially girls/women).

3. You are so great on the computer. You have totally maxed out Math Rabbit at school and at home. You now have to log on using an alias.

4. You are the most loving little boy I know. I wish the (stupid ass) people who thought you were Autistic could see you now; they would see a little boy who loves his Mommy and kisses her ALL the time. On the mouth. Maybe we need to work on that, but not right now.

5.. You can put stuff together! Why does Nanny get you stuff that has 95 pieces? We will never know. I don't think she is purposefully trying to drive me insane. But...you can put it together. I am impressed.

7. You drive me crazy. You have more energy than I have ever had or ever will. You wear me out. You are impatient, demanding and strong-willed.

Yet, I love you, oh so very much.

Love,
Mommy

Dear 20-year-old Self

2010-07-16T08:05:00.001-07:00

Dear 20- year-old Self,

You are not fat. Repeat.

Don’t get married because you are afraid to be alone. Divorce is not the end of the world. You will bounce back.

In fact, you should enjoy being alone. There will be a time you will crave alone time because you never have any.

You have a few friends (and meet a few more) that will last a lifetime. Savor those. Don’t worry about the other people.

That way you have of charming people? Don’t lose that. It will make you successful in your career.

You will be a wife and a mother, but not in the way or timeframe you expect. So relax a little.

You know your strengths and weaknesses. Don’t let anyone (especially men) tell you any different.

You have made mistakes and you will make many more.

But, you are a good person. A damn good person.

Love,
Me

P.S. It’s going to be OK.

Summer

2010-06-30T08:44:00.000-07:00

Summer means (at least for me)....

Firefly hunting

The Lake

Swimming

Water Skiing (in which I learn I am getting too old for this....so sore!)

Curt's Water Days

C1 at Football practice

Vacation (oil-free!)

Language Camp

Curt's hair, white-blond

Daylight begins and ends when it should (early and late)

less laundry

This summer, I count down the days down with a heavier heart than usual. See, this fall, my stepson is entering high school. And, my baby starts Kindergarten. The beginning of the end.

Here's to an endless summer...

Memories

2010-06-17T13:22:00.000-07:00

We are back from the beach! No oil! Curt loved it.

I am also back at work and swamped, so no real post. I did want to reprint a comment I make on Pia's blog because it showed me how far Curt's come in language -- but how much he understood despite his lack of speech. Also, I want to encourage other moms who are in that three-year-old age range when everything can look its bleakest!

"When Curt was 3 (isn't J-Man three?), we were on a trip. He, too, had practically no language at that time.

He had an alphabet game in the back seat. He played with it often. It would ask, "Where's the letter W?" and you were supposed to push it. Curt always preferred the music part of the game.

However, that day, a beautiful Friday afternoon on the way to Alabama, my Curt answered every letter it asked while I sat perfectly still in the front seat watching him in the rear-view mirror -- petrified if I moved I would wake and realize it was a dream.

Tears are in my eyes years later when I remember that moment when I realized Curt was wicked smart. You hang in there, Mama."

Graduation

2010-05-27T13:19:00.001-07:00

Pre-school graduation was Saturday. And what a day it was.

I admit, I was nervous.

But, he put on his cap and gown. He posed for individual and group photos. He marched to the stage perfectly (he looked like a little man). He stood and sang (every word!) and danced -- in perfect rhythm with his classmates. He walked to the podium to get his diploma. He walked back to get his flower and brought it to me, his mommy.

I know all the moms and dads were proud. But, I was superfliciousexbealadocious-ly proud. A year ago, he would not have cooperated. He has grown so much.

He did so much just like everyone else.

Here's what he did like Curt...

Immediately at the end of the first song, on stage, he says, "Mommy, I go pee-pee!" Everyone laughed. The music began for the second song. Immediately, at the end of the second song, he said, "Mommy, I go PEE-PEE!" Even more laughter. I hurried to the front of the stage, he hopped off and off we went. Needless to say, he missed the third song.

However, he went right back to the stage after our bathroom trip and completed the program without a hitch.

And I wasn't embarrassed. It was funny. It was what many people may remember from the program years from now. Hell, I have a DVD ordered to proved it to him when he's 18.

Self-Portrait

2010-04-08T13:56:00.000-07:00

Spring is finally here. The birds, the blooms, the sneezes. Curt's allergies and my own are severe. Joy.

We went to the Camarata's. We haven't received the report yet, and may not for a while, but there were no surprises. He was pretty compliant, although if Mary asked him something he didn't know, he feigned sleepiness. He would actually yawn. My little perfectionist. He test mid-to-late Kindergarten on his academic skills. They estimated his speech would normalize at about 4th grade, which is what I had guessed.

In fact, he took the Kindergarten test at his preschool and scored a 93. Yep, I said a NINETY-THREE! Of course, I cried. He still has the take the official test at the elementary school, but I know he knows!

He asks lots of W questions these days. LT parents will tell you -- this is pretty big. For instance, he recently asked me, "What is that where pee-pee come?" I tell him, "A pe*is." Unlike many words I've had to repeat several times, he got this one immediately. Every evening at bathtime, we now must discuss Curt's "peanuts."

Last week, he drew a self-portrait.

Peanuts included.

Stepmom

2010-03-22T06:43:00.000-07:00

Days move so slowly at times, yet the months fly by.

Stepson C’s 15th birthday was this weekend. We had five boys and their large feet at the lake. They were to camp and began the night that way, but then it rained. So, we had them all in the camper. Oy! Little sleep was to be had that evening.

I had to get that complaint out of the way. Ahem. We survived. Barely.

However, a new dynamic is emerging in the household. C specifically asked me to go to his athletic banquet along with dad. I rearranged a work commitment for that evening and got a sitter for Curt.

Then, yesterday, he called me to his room.

“Do you think Dad will let me go to X?” he asked.
“Well, what time will you be home?”
“About six.”
“Do you have homework?”
“No.”
“I think he will be fine with that.”
“Would you ask him?”

WHAT??

The boy who never before asked my permission – only Dad’s counts – is now asking me to be the go-between? Like a real Mom?

I will never be his mother. But, I do like that the emphasis may be changing from Step-mom to step-Mom. It’s a good feeling.

Ice Cream Social

2010-02-23T09:34:00.000-08:00

Miss Tippie notified me last week that Curt has a girlfriend! Her name is Maggie and Curt loves her. From the photo, it seems the feeling is mutual.

If you're the Mom of a child who does not have MERLD (Mixed Expressive/Receptive Language Disorder), this may not be very exciting. On the other hand, if you have had people suggest your child is Autistic because of lack of play with peers, it's pretty damn big.

Curt's class is having an ice cream party today for the kids who know (and speak) their phones numbers. Curt prefers strawberry, thank you very much!

We're going back to Vanderbilt to see the Camarata's March 8 for a follow-up visit. They will tell us when to expect Curt to "normalize" or catch-up in his speech. I am anxious and excited about this.

He is growing by leaps and bounds -- both socially and academically. But, his favorite person to kiss is still Mommy.

Mr. Duckworth

2010-01-28T21:49:00.000-08:00

Mr. Duckworth was my high school English teacher.

He was an odd duck. (No pun intended.) Especially for our little school.

He admitted he draft-dodged the Vietnam "conflict" and was an open Agnostic. Wow. He intrigued me. Even at 16, I was, at least, curious about others beliefs. He was the first person I had known who was verbal about his confusion with faith. All I had known was Methodists and Baptists arguing other petty matters.

I had him for all my English classes (small school) and my literary class I took my senior year. He never changed. He challenged us. To think. I don't know that it worked on everyone, but it worked on me. He had great opposition, to which he would respond, "I don't care if your Daddy IS on the school board! You don't scare me!"

And, he wasn't scared.

Let me say, he and I did not get along very well. We were fine if we were discussing novels and such, but GRAMMAR? I was done with that. (I took a 500 level grammar class in college and made an "A") So, I tried to secretly read another book during grammar lessons (hidden behind the book....does that ever work?). That really pissed him off. He threatened to give me a "U" in conduct for doing so. That would kick me out of Beta Club, even though I had stellar grades.

He looked at me with disdain. I was a little spoiled girl who didn't understand the ways of the world. I looked at him with disdain as well, except....underneath it all, I wanted his acceptance. He seemed smarter than most people I knew.

I wrote one essay that he graded an "A," but noted, "nice to see a little humility in you...for a change."

He was one of three teachers I asked to write in my memory book as I graduated. He wrote:

"We have had some differences over the last three years, but I can safely say that you are one of the most creative students I've ever had in class. I'm aware that gifted students often get bored in regular classrooms, but, of course, as a teacher I have to worry about those not-so-gifted ones who will have a a tougher time after high school. Perhaps you will be able to expand and develop your creativity in college. Best of luck to you."

Mr. Duckworth, you were the reason I wanted to be a high school English teacher. My mother warned against that. She said I didn't have the patience. She was probably right. But, you didn't either. And, you motivated me. Thank you, Mr. Duckworth. For making me think.

Smarty Pants

2010-01-20T10:44:00.000-08:00

The "Smarty Pants" wall at school. Just as it was unveiled.

The premise is that when a child tells the teacher an article which is required for the Kindergarten test, it is posted on their "pants."

Without going into the way more than you wanted to know area, Curt is doing great. He has LOTS of items on his pants. Not as many as some, but more than many others.

Two years ago, he was barely talking. Now, he tells me his phone number.

I am so proud. I cannot expain it.

Now, for his address...

Happy as a Dog?

2010-01-15T22:19:00.000-08:00

The new year is kicking my ass. There.

Work? Check. Home? Check. Stepson grounded for bad grades and cannot leave the house, therefore making us ALL miserable? Check!

Curt is now dealing with the Kindergarten pre-test at school. I am trying to help. How in the world is he going to real school next year? How is that possible? He is my baby. Yet, we are praticing our phone number this weekend -- address yet to come.

He LUVS his teacher, Miss Tippee (Tiffany for those not in the know). She just got a sweet pug dog. Thank God for animals. And, thank God for Miss Tippee.

Curt giving Miss Tippee's dog, Lettie, a kiss. His current school? The best move I ever made.

Photo courtesy of Miss Tippee's phone. See why I love her and this place? I get photos all the time!

2010

2010-01-05T14:30:00.000-08:00

2009. A year in which nothing extraordinarily wonderful happened.* A year in which nothing devastating happened. Goodbye, 2009!

Hello, 2010. Did I make any mind-boggling resolutions? No.

I am making "Everyday Resolutions" instead. Things like...

1. Try not to worry so much about the way the house looks and if the laundry is caught up. (I am obsessive about laundry. But, I can never be caught up. Thus, the unhappy Imperfect Perfectionist.)

2. I will ask for help from my family instead of being angry and passive/aggressive that they don't see the things that need to be done without being asked. They are, after all, men.

3. I will let Curt and Cowboy have their time together without telling Daddy what Curt needs. Curt can do that now.

4. I will call the repair man and schedule a time to come fix a few things at the house instead of being angry that the DAMNED DOOR IS STILL BROKEN!

5. I will try to be more calm and loving, instead of abrasive, shrill and impatient.

6. I will try to sit down and enjoy life, even if the sink is full of dishes.

7. I will breathe.

Happy 2010!

*Ok, Curt became 100 % potty-trained in 2009. That was pretty wonderful!

OK

2009-12-17T21:46:00.000-08:00

For the sake of my marriage and my sanity, I have deleted posts. Things ae good. I am almost ready for Christmas, but Jeez!

Please understand that I am a strong person, married to a strong person. Both first-borns. We are a stubborn pair.

We do love each other. I'm pretty sure of that.

As Time Goes By

2009-11-05T22:09:00.000-08:00

I have an interview. I don't know if I want it.

To me, this is more important...

Maybe I didn't sign up for it, but I'm there.

I went to clinic this morning...sinus infection. Yah, give me the shot and the antis. Woo hoo. Feel great for about 12 hours. (wearing off now. sleep soon).

Had a call from school at 12:30. Curt had 101.4. Took him to the clinic. Tested to H1N1 and strep. Negativity! Ear infection. I'll take it.

When will sarcarm come back? I sorely miss it. Interesting, sarcastic comments is who I am/are! I can do it on FB, why can't I do it here. I want to make this blog a story, but I cannot.

I guess I'm just too tired.

The link says it all. I hope I can be telling the same story in a few years. Who knows? Whether, Ange has saved my sanity, time and time again.

http://www.thelifeofange.com/2009/11/early-thanksgiving.html

Happy Thanksgiving, Ange.

PS. for all my whining and desparation, do I not have the freakin' cutest kid? He looks like a little gentleman. (Glad I got that quick.). Gee, wonder where he got that cheesy grin? God knows, I love him more than anything in this life itself. As much as he gets on my nerves. Ok, we'll stop here.

Interview

2009-10-20T08:32:00.000-07:00

Yes, a phone interview. This afternoon.

During an especially bad week, I applied for this job online. I got the call Friday. The job is in another state, close to Cowboy's family. To Curt's cousins.

What am I thinking? I haven't been on an interview for 15 years!

Nothing will probably come of it, but I need to do this. The fact I feel like I may vomit tells me how much I need to do this.

Message to Jodi

2009-09-20T21:35:00.001-07:00

Yes, it's hard being in social situations, especially around those who do not know us. Those who know us know Curt and generally love him. His soccer coach seems to love him as well. Soccer has been a challenge. Yes, I know swimming or archery might be better for him, but we're in a very small town and we don't have very many options!

I don't even want to tell Ange this b/c she will get so mad... Last week at practice, this little boy came up to me and said, "Curt is playing soccer?" (He was probably 6?) and I said yes. He said, "He will have to practice ALOT to play soccer!" and I agreed, yes, he will. He then told this little girl, probably 7 or 8, "Curt is playing soccer!" like it was the most weird thing in the world. She said something that I could not hear (probably a good thing) and her mother said, "Don't be ugly."

I just want to hurt people sometimes. Actually cause them physical pain. Would that make a difference? No. But, it might make me feel better in the short haul.

I would like to talk more to you about parents' rights and what I can ask for in school. Very small school. Don't know what to expect, except the SLP who works with Curt there has a Down's child and she insisted on inclusion, so that is a great sign. I don't think they will even try to not to put him in regular classroom.

Whew.

I have to be honest. Sometimes I feel like, "I did not sign up for this." Then, I look in Curt's beautiful eyes and think, I wouldn't have it any other way. This is my Curt and I love him, and he is perfect to me.
.

The Best Letter Ever

2009-09-04T20:58:00.000-07:00

I received a written, from the USPS, letter from Ange's son, Jack, this week. He wrote it himself. To me. I almost feel like I got a letter from Oprah, except it was really personal...and in pencil.

I took a photo of the letter. I am proud of him. However, since my home computer is acting wonky, it wouldn't download (what are my husband and my stepson doing with this computer when I'm not here?). That being said, it read:

Dear Curt's Mother,

Everyone is going to be fine. I now know you. I love you and Curt. I also know your real name. It is Jeanna. That's a nice name.

Love,
Jack

Isn't that the best letter ever? I keep it in my car and touch it occasionally, like it's my good luck rabbit's foot.

Ange showed him my facebook page to identify me. Anyone reading this page who does not have a late-talking child may not understand. All goes on, day by day, then one day, you have a really bad day. The next week, you have a really good day. That was yesterday. He played with his cousins from Alabama, tackling and chasing just like any other little body. And, today, he counted to 30 in the tub.

Life is a series of highs and lows. I don't enjoy the lows, but I love the highs.

Thank you, Jack, for the high.

Love,
Curt's Mother

PS I also got a drawing from Pickles, which was excellent! Van Gogh, watch out. What a bonus.

Bad Day

2009-08-26T10:39:00.000-07:00

I am having one of the worst days I've had in a long time. First soccer practice was yesterday. I think (I know) he is making so much progress and then I see him around the other kids. He doesn't have really any interest to interact with him. He did love kicking the ball and into the goal, though. He is excited about the next practice.

It really wasn't that bad, but it just triggered the blues. I go along day-by-day and I am OK, but then, BOOM. Like someone slapped me. The crying jags, the pain in my heart.

I've lost 15 pounds in the last year without trying. I'm either quietly dying with zero pain or it's stress. I haven't felt any genuine happiness since he was two years old because I am always worried about him, about his future.

I am at work. Everyone is at lunch but me. I took a nerve pill, but it won't stop the tears.

What I Learned on My Summer Vacation

2009-08-04T14:28:00.000-07:00

Don’t take a vacation with extended family.

I could stop there, and perhaps I should. (But I won’t) We went with Cowboy’s sister, her husband and their two kids. (These kids have a reputation for bad behavior.)

It actually was a nice vacation for the first four days. Everyone got along well. I even mentioned this to Cowboy the day before we left how I was surprised how smoothly things had gone. However, the last morning – only two hours before we were to leave – there was an unfortunate incident involving nephew and pizza rolls and the condo carpet. The condo I had paid for with my credit card, the credit card the Realty Company would charge for damages.

Cowboy went in the wake up the kids and spotted the aforementioned pizza rolls ground into the off-white carpet. He developed a sudden case of Tourette’s syndrome. When Sister told him not to talk that way around her children, that they did not do that, Cowboy responded, “I KNOW your children. Your children talk like that to me!”

To say the last hour or so were uncomfortable is an understatement.

However, I learned a few lessons. Or at least had them re-confirmed.

First, be consistent. Don’t tell your child to do something/not to do something 15 times with no repercussions. If you tell them they will be punished if they do something ONE MORE TIME, punish them.

Second, don’t give kids everything they beg for. If you’ve driven numerous hours to get to the beach, you need to enjoy the beach. They don’t have to go to the water park/adventure island/dolphin tours daily. Teach them the value of a dollar.

Last, and certainly not least. If your son is on medication for ADHD and truly, truly needs it, for God’s sake, give it to him. EVERY DAY.

Finally, Curt turned five two weeks ago. Happy Birthday, Bubble Boy.

My Summer by Curt (transcribed by Mommy)

2009-06-26T07:17:00.000-07:00

I love summer! I get to go outside a lot.

I am having a busy summer. This is my week.

Mondays and Tuesdays are just regular days. I go to school. I like my school. There, I play outside and on the computer and we learn all kinds of stuff we will need for big-boy school. I also watch everyone else eat and take a nap. Me, not so much. I like to hug Miss Tiffany, Miss Alisha and Miss Ginger. Last week, I bit Miss Ashley. It has been a long time since I have bit, but Mommy was mad and told me she would bite me if I bit again.

Wednesday is Library Day! My school is down the street from the Library. We hold hands and walk down the sidewalk together. They are having a summer program and we do all kinds of fun things, like ride in a firetruck and sit in a police car. This week, the mad scientist came and I helped him "shock a lemon" as you can see from the picture below.

It's not a very good picture, because Miss Tiffany sent it to Mommy on her cell phone.

Thursdays, I go to Language Camp in Jackson. I get to watch and movies and eat crackers and drink juice on the drive, which is pretty long for me. I ask Mommy to stop several times so I can go pee-pee. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. I am scared of the automatic toilets. They are too loud.

Language Camp is fun. Last week, we did camping things. This week was even more fun. I got to be a scientist and wear a lab coat. We made bubbles (I thought you only got those at the store) and also made a volcano out of regular stuff we have at the house. My favorite part was the volcano.

Friday is Water Day at my school! I love Water Day! We get to play outside all morning in little pools and sprinklers. I wake up very easy on Water Day and love to get dressed in my swimsuit and swim shoes. This morning, I wanted to leave quickly, so I helped Mommy make the bed. For some reason, it wasn't any faster.

Friday nights, I get Mommy all to myself. Daddy and Brother are gone to the Lake. You would think that I would be very tired from Water Day, but sometimes I still stay up until almost 10 o o. I am a big boy.

Saturdays, Mommy and I go to the Lake. This is my favorite thing. We ride the boat. Daddy goes very fast and the waves spray me. That is fun. Then, we stop and I get to swim. I can swim for a very long time. I also like to jump off the boat into the water. Sometimes, we go to a floating restaurant and I get to throw chips to the fish and turtles. They are very hungry.

When we come back to the camper, I lie on the bed, watch movies and eat. I also take a ride on the golf cart. On Saturday night, I am usually very tired and go to sleep early. I hope that doesn't make Mommy sad.

Sunday, sometimes we ride the boat again and sometimes, we just go home. I ask Mommy to stop several times on way home to pee-pee. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. When we get home, Mommy does laundry while I play on my computer.

Sunday afternoon Mommy and I go to the grocery store. Sometimes Daddy goes too, but Mommy doesn't like that because she says he buys too much junk. If I am good in the store, Mommy buys me a sucker.

Monday morning I ask Mommy if it is Water Day. She says no. I love Water Day.

Bullet Monday

2009-06-22T09:32:00.000-07:00

This is fourth day of 100+ heat index. Too hot.

C1 is coming back today after 2.5 weeks in Alabama.

It's been a nice "vacation" from laundry and cooking (at least not as much of either).

I'm looking forward to seeing him.

I have a Webinar at lunch today. I need my lunch hour break from people.

But they do have pizza.

I am very tan. I used sunblock (as opposed to screen) this weekend as I want no more sun.

Curt is poo-ing in the potty. Not every time, but at least sometimes. He pees 100 percent. Never an accident. I don't get it.

He evens holds it at the Lake. You want proof?

One summer, at band camp...

2009-05-21T12:35:00.000-07:00

Friday was Curt's last day of speech (summer) and we had his IEP. Since August, here are the updates (in years):

Receptive
2.1 - 3.9
Increase of 1.8

Expressive
1.10 - 2.4
Increase of 6.0

Overall
1.10 - 3.0
Increase of 1.2 years

I was thrilled with his receptive progress, but a little disappointed with expressive. It seems that he has come much further than that to me.

In other news, Curt will be attending "Language Camp" this summer. It is described as: "This camp is for children grades K-3 and conducted by two SLPs. Is is designed to offer language, comprehension, articulation, and cognitive stimulation during the summer months."It is once a week (two hours) for four weeks. Good news? It's only $100, which sounds like a bargain when you compare it to private speech therapy! Also, it sounds fun with circus themes, etc. Bad news? It's in a city an hour away. Oh well. Secret news? He's not really starting Kindergarten in the fall, but I didn't tell them!

80s Faves

2009-05-06T11:58:00.000-07:00

Ahh, the 80s. That sweet decade of big hair, skinny-legged jeans and blue eyeshadow. I miss you, 80s, and my young skin.

What's to love, you ask?

Calvin Klein jeans: "Nothing comes between me and my Calvins." I loved CK jeans (when the name was spelled out) almost as much as my girl-crush on Brooke Shields. "Brooke" was a nickname in high school for three reasons: I only wore Calvin Klein jeans; I had long, dark hair; thick eyebrows.

Headbands and leg-warmers: "Let's Get Physical!" No matter that there was absolutely no reason for the headband. It had no purpose whatsoever. No matter legwarmers made even those with thin legs look chunky. We wore them -- and we wore them together.

Big Hair: I still fight the urge to make my hair large. I love big hair and I am waiting patiently for its return.

Candie's: No, you couldn't walk in them very well (well, if you were me, anyway) and yes, that high-heeled, backless "clicking" when you walked was irritating. But, they were cool! especially when you wore them with your....

Satin Jacket: Baby blue, soft pink. I loved my satin jacket almost as much as my rabbit-fur jacket (in all white; mine was the prettiest) and, later, my Michael Jackson-inspired red pleather jacket given to me by a boyfriend. And, speaking of...

Michael Jackson: "Off the Wall" Before his weirdness and when he had a real nose. And, he was rumored to date Brooke Shields.

Talking on the Phone: Not emailing, not texting. Talking. On a phone with a cord. To your girlfriends for a very long time. Or, in the evening, in your dark room to the boy du jour.

Rick Springfield: Before he was cutting CD's for kids, he had us all wishing we were "Jessie's girl."

Lauren perfume: The original Ralph Lauren, the best Ralph Lauren. You wore this special perfume with your....

Polo shirts: Preferably two of them (or three!). It was the coolest when your little polo man on your outside shirt matched the color on your inside shirt.

School: Before "No Kid Left Behind," this could actually be a fun place. Hanging out before the first bell, watching to downtown to lunch (which included a bags of chips, a Diet Coke and a smoke.)

There may be a second edition of "I Heart the 80s" as I am sure I've omitted many wonderful things about this decade. In the meantime, please feel free to add your personal favorite.

Same life, new camper

2009-04-30T16:53:00.000-07:00

I seem to be out of words these days.

Life is not bad. Life is not good.

Currently, life is in a hotel room in Knoxville, where I am currently sipping my vodka and Diet Coke (the machine was out of Sprite, dammit) and listening to "Seinfeld" in the background.

Sounds lonely? It's not.

I am enjoying my time alone. I did not ask for the trip, nor really want it, but it is good.

The fact is, I do not have time alone. I am either at work, with people surrounding me and constantly asking questions, or I am at home with Curt constantly vying for my attention, while I am trying to do job number two: laundry, dishes, keeping the fam on schedule.

What's up? Well...

C1 had an excellent report card (at least compared to the beginning of the year). Nothing below a "C." This is a first for him with us. Praise was given and I almost cried. I certainly hope he can keep this up.

Curt continues to be an angel/devil. He is learning every day and recited his birthday and name this week at school as requested. He continues to crap in his pants and I continue to put big boy pants on him and try to encourage him/time out him to pa-lease use the freaking potty! Come on, son, how hard can it be?

We had a big event at work this month which is now over. Thank God. It was stressful to say the least. I will be taking some time off, I swear.

Cowboy is stressed as per usual. However, things are happening that may prove to improve our financial situation 200 percent.

We sold our camper and bought a new one. We wanted to buy a cabin and found one we loved, but were not willing to spend the $$ they wanted. This one is bigger and allow for the addition of a 14-year-old who will be an addition this year and the next ones, we hope. (With three bunk beds -- built into the wall!)
.
We bought the porch on the camper which was in the "spot" which is huge and has a ceiling fan. The screen needs to be replaced, but it will be much more comfortable. Camp Redneck, here we come. (And we are no longer neighbors with the woman with whom I do not speak. The one who commented on Curt and broke my heart. Best reason ever.) Will post photo of the porch when I actually take one.

I am here. I am peaceful. I am fine.

Oh, and I love Adam Lambert. A girl's gotta have some entertainment, right?

Sea Star

2009-04-06T06:53:00.000-07:00

Curt loves the water and all things associated with the water.

Lately, he has pointing at a starfish and calling it a sea star. I correct him. It's an easy mistake to make, right? I mean, it looks like a star. It's in the sea.

Yesterday, he was watching one of his new movies and a starfish appeared on the screen. The narrator said, "This animal is referred to as a starfish. Does it look like a fish? Actually, this is a sea star."

Mommy stands corrected.

Knocking Me Out with Those American Thighs

2009-04-02T07:59:00.001-07:00

Semi. Almost 3. 1968. I did mention I was a chubby kid, right?

Spring Break (alas, not for me...)

2009-03-30T07:51:00.001-07:00

C1 is on Spring Break this week. He is spending it in Alabama. I think we all needed a break. A pattern has emerged; 2-3 days before he visits his mom, he acquires an Attitude with a capital 'A.' Like he is stressed out but, yet, he acts like he wants to go. What's up with that?
Report cards will come out next week. Will C1 pass everything for the first time all year? Tune in then to find out.

Curt tried THREE foods this weekend: celery, apple and grape. He ate ONE WHOLE grape. I tried to act nonchalant (reverse psychology). I let him eat it in the cart before payment. Sue me.

Cowboy has had lots of work in the last two weeks with no breakdowns. Cross your finger, knock on wood, something.

It is Monday. I am tired. Oh, and my back hurts.

The Weekend in (Bad) Pictures

2009-03-16T14:15:00.000-07:00

C1's Anatomy of a Cell project?

Completed! With little or no attitude! He took an active "helper" role (Cowboy took Curt for an extended ride) and even commented when we were finished, "That wasn't bad at all!"

My mother bought Curt the series, "Your Baby Can Read." We received it in the mail Saturday. I put one of the DVD's in for Curt.

And, he read the words. Without any photos. Immediately. As I suspected, he IS reading.

His future's so bright, he's gotta wear shades.

PS If anyone has any hints about cell phone photos, i.e., how to make them less sucky? I mean, I realize they are cell phone photos, but these really suck!

ETA: When I picked Curt up from preschool, I told his teacher about the weekend reading experience. Seems it's not isolated! She was working with Curt on sight cards to identify letters. The sight card read, "h house"(no picture). She quizzed him about the "h," but he responded, "house!" I told her, "Yes, because he doesn't talk very much, I am sometimes surprised at how much he knows!" That's Semi for "Don't underestimate my child."

Half Full?

2009-03-13T14:48:00.000-07:00

This is a crappy way to come back after almost a month absence. I realize this.

Cowboy and I have been a little busy begging, threatening, and punishing an almost-14-year-old to do his homework, lessons, projects. One of which will consume my mind until it's done this weekend, although he won't give it a second thought. And I will end up doing most, if not all, of the work. I can't let him fail when I can help him; it's my mother coming out in me.

I've also been busy doing extra loads of laundry since Curt is still crapping in his pants. He is doing pretty well on the weekends, but shitty (haha) during the week.

I'm tired of cooking. I'm tired of laundry. I'm thankful to have my job.

Jess says much of what I want to say, if I could write this well.

Have a good weekend.

Back Talk

2009-02-16T09:31:00.000-08:00

When Curt had his ear infection, the antibiotics really hurt his stomach. He had diarrhea and his 100% potty record kind of went out the window. We're working to get him back on track.

His morning, I was getting ready for work in the bathroom. He got out of bed and came in for his morning tinkle. As he was walking back to the bedroom, I said, "Curt, you tell Mommy if you have to poo-poo." He stopped, turned around, looked at me and said, "Mommy, I go night-night," and went back into the bedroom.

The little boy who I worried may never say 'Mommy' can now spell it aloud. 'Daddy', too.

__________

ETA: He is now spelling Colter, Nana and Pop aloud with very little assistance. I thought if I wrote the words down on paper first, it would be easier (duh!).

School Update

2009-02-11T11:45:00.000-08:00

Finally, a post that is not a duplicate of a Facebook note! I am, alas, still addicted. However, meeting new moms of late-talking sons has been a joy! Thanks, Ange!

It’s time for an update on the new school, which isn’t that new anymore. Curt has been there 1.5 months now. Time flies…at least for those of us in this area who have had electricity. Many people were out for almost two weeks.

Ok, back on track. How’s the new school? Dare I say it? IT’S GREAT! I have to say, I really don’t have any complaints. I know, shocking. I’m sure I will eventually have some, but, wow.

What do I/Curt like about this school?

1. They send a short report home every day stating what they had for breakfast, lunch. Curt probably doesn’t eat it, but at least I know what they are offering him.

2. The report also includes what activities they did, what movie they watched, etc., and has a section at the bottom entitled, “You’ll be glad to know.” For instance, “You’ll be glad to know Curt did a great job sharing his ‘all about me’ bag, but was very glad to get his necklace back! ” (Yes, a smiley face on her note!) Curt likes necklaces. The more bling, the better.

3. His teacher sends home a monthly calendar with daily activities and special days noted. Last month, they worked with the alphabet. They walk to the Library on Wednesdays, weather permitting.

4. They have a daily routine, but seem laid-back about it. And, I haven’t heard the dreaded words, “Circle Time” yet.

5. We’ve only had one incident of Curt hitting another child. You may remember at the old school, this was a much more regular occurance.

6. Curt may or may not sleep at naptime. However, if he is quiet, they will allow him to lie quietly and “read” at book.

I think all moms would appreciate these notes, telling them what their child is doing during the day. You can then reinforce what they are learning at home. However, if you have a who child doesn’t come home and tell you about their day, you can’t imagine how this makes you feel more a part of it.

…..

No school for C1 on Friday, so we are going to Alabama so he can see his new half-brothers. Mom, 39 and unmarried, gave birth to bi-racial twins two weeks ago. I can’t even imagine.

Things that Make Me Feel Old

2009-02-09T12:01:00.000-08:00

1. Putting Curt to sleep at 9 p.m. -- and falling asleep with him.

2. Trying to explain to our student worker what those pieces of tissue are in our files. "They would sit at the typewriter -- no computer -- and type the letter. They would tear this off for the file. Yes, it's the original carbon copy!"

3. Thinking kids can't spell and have a harder time in school because they have too much stuff! If you have three television channels, you learn to love to read!

4. My friends are becoming grandmothers when I have a four-year-old (actually, that one just makes me tired).

5. Winters now are unbearably cold. Is it because I am older, thinner, or both?

6. When we have warm days (yeah!), my first thought is, "Great! Lower electric bill!"

7. Zits and haircolor -- at the same time. Nuff said.

8. Comfortable shoes outweigh pointy-toed trends every time.

9. Not only is the television always too loud, but I only run the dishwasher at night!

10. Actually reading my social security benefits statement when it arrives in the mail.

The List

2009-02-02T22:11:00.000-08:00

Sorry it's been so long. The weather and economy are getting me down. So many of my friends and family still don't have power.

Anyway, instead of discussing poop and failing grades, I thought it would be fun to do something different today!

1. My favorite book is "To Kill a Mockingbird." I've read it at least 20 times.

2. I was offered a Presdential scholarship to the university in my home state. I didn't go.

3. I cannot eat things that do not traditionally belong together -- such as pineapple on a pizza. It usually involves sweet things. I prefer salty things.

5. I was in a sorority in college.

6. I began talking at nine months old, but did not walk until I was a year old. My first word was 'dog.'

7. I was one of the very youngest in my class. I did well academically, but was immature socially. I cried a lot.

8. I have had many friends over the years, but keep in contact with very few of them. Well, that is, until Facebook.

9. I am frugal, bordering on cheap in many ways. I am aghast at the cost of food, but buying wine does not bother me.

10. I was head majorette and cheerleader captain in high school. I went to a very small high school.

11. My job is very important to me and reflects my self-worth.

12. I think I could eat pizza every day.

13. Several of my best friends consider me to be the most honest person they know (in a good way).

14. I am left-handed and couldn't use regular (i.e., right-handed) scissors until high school. My mom had to get me the special "left-handed" ones.

15. I am terrible at driving in reverse. I think it is because I am left-handed.

16. I went to Europe in the late 1980s. It's the only time I've been.

17. My favorite place is the beach. I also love seafood.

18. I didn't think I could have children and quit trying. Curt was born two years later, a complete surprise.

19. I have been at my job 17 years. I've never done anything that long.

20. I was deathly afraid of the dark when I was young, probably because my dad would jump out of dark halls to scare me.

21. Hence, I still jump (and sometimes scream) when people come into a room unannounced.

22. I wanted to be an actress or a writer when I was a little girl.

23. I am a Christian, but not very religious and certainly not church-y. I believe in the separation of church and state.

24. My parents started dating when they were 14.

25. I've only had one cavity, but I did have braces.

Day of Doom - Part III

2009-01-14T07:31:00.000-08:00

Report card day was last week. Never a good day at Casa de Semi. (At least not yet, maybe someday?) The good news: C1 failed nothing. The bad news: It was close.

He is in tutoring 2-3 days a week at the school. I practially DID his big history project for him. (We got 100!) He still made a C, his best grade other than physical education.

It is so frustrating. It's also scary. I want him to go to college if he chooses to do so. I want him to have options. So, that was bad enough... that is, until parent/teacher conference. Cowboy has each of them, bless his pea-pickin' heart.

It started out well enough. The first teacher actually bragged on him a little. After that, downhill fast. The boy actually had a '0' on a OPEN-BOOK TEST! He didn't do it. Said he thought he could take it home (Yeah, right). I had to give Cowboy a nerve pill. All the worry he had that C1 was behind had been replaced with anger, possibly rage, at the fact C1 was actually being a lazy ass who did not give a shit.

He will now not be giving a shit in silence. No phone, no Wii, no going to friends' houses and no guests for him (ok, this one I am a little giddy about.) C1 says he now has a plan and will be improving his grades. I hope so. If not, he won't be planning much this summer and will be repeating 7th grade next year.

It's going to be a long, hard winter.

Bad Text

2009-01-10T23:10:00.000-08:00

Dr. Brown agreed to see Curt once a month. I was floored. He is very intimidating. And I am not easily intimidated.

I could write about many things. I could write about what I did New Year's Eve that was awful. Not that she didn't haven't it coming. However, I hate to be one who looks like an ass. She wins again.

http://semi-charmed-lifeforme.blogspot.com/2008/08/flight-or-fight.html

Kicking myself.

No matter, still hate her. Don't talk about my child whist pretending to be my friend. Found it out two weeks after our "talk" and I thought I could forget about it. I was wrong.

I was so very, very wrong.

You live, you learn.

Next time, tell her what you think at that time. Don't think you can forgive an ignorant bitch and, for God's sake, don't text her mates on New Year's Eve telling them how much you hate her. Not a good idea.
...............................................

ETA: I don't think the advice to let it go was wrong! I only wish I had enough self-control to follow it. Instead of the anger gently blowing away like a breeze, it built inside me like bile. I have to see her at lunch today -- the first time since my verbal vomit. Ought to be fun!

Dear Dr. B...

2009-01-08T13:06:00.000-08:00

Because I am chickenshit, the following is the email I sent Dr. B.

Dr. B,

I've moved Curt from the Children's Center to Town. I had not been happy with the head teacher for some time and the move made sense. We live in Town, and he will be going to school in Town and will be going with children he will actually be going to school with. The classes are much smaller - only 9 in his room versus 40. He is very happy there, gets individual attention - they even went to the library yesterday, which he loved. He will be going back to speech again this week as school is open.

You have given us great tools on how to work with Curt. He has made lots of improvement in speech and other areas. I would like to continue to see you once a month to monitor his progress and continue therapy. I realize you have a business and this may not be an option. However, with him being in Town, we will not be able to continue to see you every week.

Either way, you have been very helpful to Curt and I appreciate it.

"New School"

2009-01-06T08:02:00.001-08:00

For the week prior, every time we would drive by the new school, I would tell Curt, "There's your new school!" On his first time there, we drove up and he said, "New School!"

The transition has gone surprisingly well so far. We went Monday-Wednesday last week and began full-time this week. The first day he was anxious when I left. He buried his head in my leg and whimpered. I got down on his level and said, "Curt, there's no need to be scared. We've been talking about this. This is your new school and you're going to have fun." The teacher asked him if he wanted x, "No." How about Y? "No." "Would you like to pick out a book to read?" His head perked up and off he went. No tears that day or since.

They are "pretty laid back" in the 4yo class (their words), but are working on ABCS -- today is B is for book day --bring your favorite book. His teacher makes it fun (on "I" day they will build an igloo...) AND ONLY NINE KIDS in his class! I get a little report every day. What they had for breakfast and lunch and all the activities, plus a little section named, "You'll be glad to know..."

I'm sure there will be bad days, but so far, I'm very optimistic. We are almost there on the poo-poo training, but he has had a couple of accidents at school -- he has those more out than at home.

When Cowboy picked him up his last day, Head teacher acted shocked that he wouldn't be back. I had turned in the paperwork, but no one had mentioned him leaving. The director of the old preschool called me last Monday (his first day at new one). She told me she had been out for a week, came back and was surprised to see Curt wouldn't be back.

D: "Do you mind me asking why?"

Semi: "D, I know Curt is a handful. I live with him. But, Head Teacher didn't say one positive thing about him in a year and a half."

(pause)

D: "I'm sorry to hear that."

Semi: "I wasn't going to say anything, but you asked. The students were great!"

D: "Where are you sending him if you don't mind me asking?"

Semi: "In 'town name.' He will be going to school there and I think it be good for him to go to preschool with those kids. Plus, it's smaller and I think that will help him focus better."

D: "The size of Room four has been an issue for a long time."

She went on to ask if I was sure before she filled his position. I thanked her for calling. We were both very nice.

What a relief.

Yesterday, when I asked him if he wanted to take his teddy bear to school with him, he said, "New School?" and I nodded. He said, "Yes!"

.................................................

I'm definitely making plans to go back to the Camaratas this summer. They haven't seen Curt since he was 2. I need an updated report for school (fall 2010) and just an updated evaluation, period. At two, they didn't even begin to try to estimate when he would "normalize"-- as they say.

Happy Holidays

2008-12-27T20:21:00.000-08:00

The grandkids at my moms for Christmas. Curt starts his new school Monday. If you're scared, say scared. Ok. I'm scared.

There was drama at both my parents' and at Cowboy's mother's house, but it will have to wait. Too tired. Merry (belated) Christmas. (We have traveled about 700 miles this week...)

Don't Be Sleepin at My House

2008-12-12T22:07:00.000-08:00

Or you will be photographed..

Had to delete. Too embarrassing, even though I was the photographer...

Milestones

2008-12-02T11:45:00.000-08:00

It appears Curt will begin his new preschool Dec. 29. I am calling the owner this afternoon to confirm.

I talked to her again yesterday. I'm sure I sounded like an old, overprotective mom (ok, ok, I am), but I wanted her to know the good, the bad, the ugly.

What I told her:

Speech delay makes him frustrated at times
Very impatient
A very picky eater
May sleep at sleep time, may not
Went through a pretty bad biting stage which has improved
Just now potty-training for poo
Transition will not be easy, most likely horrible for 2-3 weeks

She was non-plussed. Ginger (and if I could tell you the name of this place, you would think the fact that her name is Ginger is a little comical) responded as though most kids have one or more of these traits (and it seems they do). She told me, "We're pretty laid-back." I think that will be a nice change from the military schedule of his current school.

I'm a little sad. That sounds weird, even to me. I will miss the student teachers.

I'm more excited about new beginnings. I feel I am making the right decision. God, I hope so.

. . . . . . . . . .

Milestone #2

Curt has not had an accident since Saturday. He is telling me when he has to poo. Thank God he poos like me (quick and to the point) and not like Daddy and C1 (takes 30 minutes and reading material)

We are making light-speed progress! And it only took 4+ years.

Success at last!

2008-11-28T18:51:00.000-08:00

Curt pooed in the potty! Curt pooed in the potty!

I know we're not out of the woods yet, but this shit is big! (No pun intended.)

Lemonade...part deaux

2008-11-27T20:44:00.000-08:00

(Prelude) Thanks to those who made comments. I appreciated all of them, but I must say Brenda's "That Bitch" really made me smile...

We met with the new potential pre-school Tuesday as planned. It all went well. The owners and the teachers were nice. The schedule is similar to the current school except they allot TWO HOURS for naptime versus 1.5 hours. She did say if they were quiet, they were not expected to sleep.

Curt, quiet? Give the child a book and pray.

One unexpected item did take me aback. They have an opening NOW. As in now. I told her I would have to talk to my husband and get back with her. I did say if he started, I would start him the week after Christmas. Short week, etc.

PROS for new:
1. Close to home (Cowboy can easily pick up as needed).
2. Smaller classroom.
3. Seems to be more laid-back; not so militarily -oriented.
4. Curt will go to pre-school with the kids he will go to kindergarten with.
5. $20 less a WEEK.
6. No more Dr. B (different town; can't do it with work).

PROS for old:
1. More structured (I am crazy).
2. Sterile environment.
3. Supposedly best.
4. Dr. B.
5. Had him on waiting list for two years to get in!
6. No transition heartaches.

Thoughts?

Should this be a no-brainer? Perhaps. I will tell the owner/director ALL Curt's idiosyncrasies before I sign the line. There is no going back.

Plus, I am no at good at change. Curt is no help. Do you like this school? "Yes." Do you want to change schools? "Yes." Do you like your old school? "Yes."

Did I mention he's a "yes" man?

in which we may be making lemonade...

2008-11-22T12:51:00.000-08:00

Wednesday afternoon was another bad afternoon. When I entered the preschool to pick up Curt, he was lying in the floor. He wasn't screaming or crying, just lying there quietly whining. The head teacher (with her back to me) told him harshly, "You didn't sleep -- that's why you feel that way!"

When he does nap, (which has been almost every day the 1.5 years), he is up until 10 p.m. at the earliest. There have been times he has been awake at midnight,. I'm sorry to screw up your day, but most times - you really screw up my night. Screw you. Sorry, but I now hate this bitch. She is mean to any child who requires any work. Screw you again. I am the customer. I pay you almost $100 a week -- not to be mean to my child. I hate you.

She then proceeded to then be short with me, telling me how he hasn't been sleeping this week and "this is what is was today." Perhaps she should consider retiring.

Instead of feeling really sorry for myself, for Curt, and crying all the way home (as per usual) -- I had an epiphany: Now may be the time for a change.

There is a preschool three blocks from my house. I had inquired before Curt started with the PRIMO preschool and the owner slightly irritated me. She said, when I was interviewing her as the children lay alseep, "Yes, that's the only time they're good."

I called. They have a new owner. Ginger. The 4yo class has 9 children; the pre-k has 13. Curt's current class is 40.

I told the new owner, "Curt is speech delayed. Do you have any SD children in your program or do you have any experience with speech delayed children?"

She answered, "Yes, my son."

They may have an opening in January; we are visiting on Tuesday.

We'll see, but it seems to be meant to be...

Freedom

2008-11-18T06:51:00.000-08:00

I'm getting emails (forwards, of course) from "friends" about the Freedom of Choice Act (FOCA). They are outraged and request my help in stopping this blasphemy!

Do they not know me at all?

Apparently not, because if they did, they would know that I am and have always been, pro-choice.

The copy in these emails is scary and designed to provoke knee-jerk reactions. The talk of 13-year-olds getting abortions and Catholic hospitals losing federal funding if they refuse to perform them.

So, I've begun reading up on ole' FOCA, in the hopes that I learn what its really all about and have an intelligent response.

. . . . . . .

Expect more regular posting now that the honeymoon phase is over with Facebook. I enjoy it, but it's like making small talk at a cocktail party when you would really prefer to hang out with your best friend, drinking wine and talking until 2 a.m.

What I Want

2008-11-07T21:07:00.001-08:00

What I want for my child, who is now four years old...

I want him to live in a country of which he can be proud.

I want him to know a time when people who love each other can marry, or at least, be able to have a union where they can count on health insurance.

I want him not to know his friends by the color of their skin, but by their names.

I want him to feel confident that the decisions of women's bodies are made by those individual women, and not some man in his 70s.

I want him to know people of all colors, religions, and ethnic groups (and sexual orientations) and not be afraid of people, but to embrace our differences.

I want him to grow up healthy and happy. This is what I wish for you, the love of my life.

Two years ago...

2008-11-05T08:13:00.000-08:00

Two years ago on a warm October day, Cowboy and I took Curt to see the Camaratas. It was a good day and they were wonderful to him. We drove home that afternoon. As I was unpacking, "Oprah" was on television. As a working woman, I rarely watch Oprah. She had a young senator and his wife as her guests.

Although I had the TV on for "background," I had to sit down and watch. I loved his charisma and his thoughts. When Cowboy came into the room, I told him, "I just saw this senator on Oprah who is going to be our president one day."

And, now he is.

(Or soon will be.)

Bunnies, Doggies, and Bears, OH MY!

2008-11-01T21:37:00.000-07:00

I hope you had a Happy Halloween.

Time is going by so fast and incredibly slow at the same time. How is that?

Two years ago, 2 year-old Curt was a bunny. What's up, Doc?

Last year, he was a beagle. A sweet beagle.

This year, he says the words candy, pumpkin, scarecrow and uses them in short sentences.

This year will probably be the last year for a "sweet" costume. Next year, he'll probably be a superhero or the newest television marketing scam.

I will appreciate this year. I'll give it my Bear-y best.

I Voted!

2008-10-30T14:08:00.000-07:00

I may be old, but I vote young.

A brand-new NBC/WSJ/MySpace poll illustrates not only McCain’s challenge come Election Day, but also the challenge the Republican Party could face in future elections. In the poll, Obama enjoys a more than 2-to-1 advantage over McCain among first-time (read: 18-21 year olds) and lapsed voters, 69%-27%. These voters have a much more positive view of Obama (64%-27% fav/unfav rating) than average voters do
(56%-33% fav/unfav in last week’s NBC/WSJ survey). What’s more, they have a much more negative view of McCain (29%-59%) and Palin (23%-54%) than average voters do.

A very ominous sign for the Republican Party is how Democratic-leaning these new and lapsed voters are. Not only do they back Obama by a 69%-27 margin, they also prefer a Democratic-controlled Congress by a 2-to-1 margin, 66%-31%. And their views of President Bush? His fav/unfav among these voters is 14%-73%. Ouch. While Karl Rove had ambitious hopes of turning Bush's presidency into a permanent majority for the GOP, this poll suggests that Bush's lasting legacy could actually be turning off a new generation of voters. After all, consider what young voters who came of voting age during the past seven years might associate the GOP with -- the Iraq war, Hurricane Katrina, the current economy, various political scandals (Jack Abramoff, Ted Stevens, etc.), and Bush.

Addicted

2008-10-22T17:28:00.000-07:00

I may be AWL for a little while. I am now officially addicted to Facebook and it has become my ultimate obsession.

Who knew it was so easy to make friends? Especially old college friends. This is how I find out my fraternity big bro is actually gay? Not that there's anything wrong with that.

No wonder he never hit on me. 'Course, there could have been MANY reasons for that.

Personality DNA

2008-10-21T00:14:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Bizzy for the idea, who is a Advocating Creator. You can take the test here.

You are an Analyst

Your attention to detail, confidence, sense of order, and focus on functionality combine to make you an ANALYST.

You are very curious about how things work, delving into the mechanics behind things.

Along those lines, how well something works is usually more important to you than what it looks like.

You find beauty and wonder mainly in concrete, functional, earthly things.

You are very aware of your own abilities, and you believe that you will find the best way of doing things.

Accordingly, problems do not intimidate you, as you believe in yourself.

You trust yourself to find solutions within the boundaries of your knowledge.

You don't spend a lot of time imagining how things could be different—you're well-grounded in the here-and-now.

It is important for you to follow a routine, and you prefer the familiar to the unknown.

You prefer to have time to plan for things, feeling better with a schedule than with keeping plans up in the air until the last minute.

You are Animated

You are outgoing, comfortable with others, and up for anything, which makes you ANIMATED.

Some people find crowds and parties exhausting, but not you! You are able to be yourself in many situations.

Sometimes it is hard for you to understand why others feel the way they do, but that doesn't stop you from trusting them or having faith that they are good people.

You know the world is complicated and that there is often more than one side to a story, so you are careful not to make judgments about others too hastily.

You would rather experience the world than sit back and observe it—you are not one to sit on the sidelines.

You are an independent thinker and don't get too worried about how others might perceive you—you are not self-conscious about being the active, engaged person that you are.

Although you have a keen understanding of different people's life circumstances, you occasionally have trouble seeing why people get so upset and emotional about things—they should just lighten up and have fun!

In addition to having faith in the world, you have faith in the people around you—you trust others to do the right thing and to be honest.

...............

I've never thought of myself as an analyst and, if I had taken this test 15 years ago, I'm sure it wouldn't have had the same results.

I only wish I were as confident about my abilities as a mother as I am at my job and my other decisions. Hardest job I've ever had.

Free (at least for now)

2008-10-19T09:12:00.000-07:00

C1 now has his cell phone returned. He already spent the night with a friend. He asked a girl to "go out with him" -- where will they go? No license.

Suffice it to say, he is no longer grounded. And, if you are a parent, you know that actually means... FREEDOM FOR ALL!

Let's face it. When you ground a teenager, even a young one who cannot drive, etc., you are basically grounding yourself. You are present for the moans of boredom, the exaggerated sighs, and just that large person who is now a permanent presence on your couch.

To his credit, he did not complain (much). He knew he did this to himself.

His progress report was not what you would call glowing, but compared to his grades on the first report card, it actually was. His teachers tell Cowboy that he is giving forth much more of an effort and, his behavior is class is very good. Let me say, Cowboy went (and dragged C1 along) to the parent/teacher conferences all by his little ole' self. He gave each teacher his business card and told them if they had any problem with said C1, they were to call him immediately. C1 was appropriately mortified. Mission accomplished.

I'm proud of them. C1 for bringing up his grades (he still has to finish the 6-weeks on a good note) and Cowboy for following up on his punishment, making the total effort to go to see all his teachers, and basically being a good Dad.

I have a slight tendency to be a tad critical (Ok, I can be a bitch). Since Cowboy reads this on the sly, this is my opportunity to tell the blog world, and especially him, I'm proud of you. You're a great dad.

I love you.

Let's Go Crazy!

2008-10-16T12:44:00.000-07:00

Scene: The office. Co-workers standing around a birthday cake. A friend says, "We are gathered here today..." to which I replied "...to get through this thing called life."

We then broke into a rendition of "Let's Go Crazy." (at least the beginning...)

Dearly beloved
We are gathered here today
2 get through this thing called life
Electric word life
It means forever and that's a mighty long time
But I'm here 2 tell u
There's something else
The afterworld
A world of never ending happiness
U can always see the sun, day or night
So when u call up that shrink in Beverly Hills
U know the one - Dr Everything'll Be Alright
Instead of asking him how much of your time is left
Ask him how much of your mind, baby
'Cuz in this life
Things are much harder than in the afterworld
In this life
You're on your own

(A little too close for comfort, I say)

......................

Not a bad segue way to a report on the meeting with Head Teacher.

Verdict?

It really wasn't that bad. Really.

I had diarrhea that morning from worrying.

First, she asked me to have Curt walk in the classroom as opposed to me carrying him. (In the afternoon, he walks. In the morning, I am in a hurry. Guilty as charged.) She wants the other kids to see him on their level. They have a tendency to coddle him and treat him like he's younger than he is because of his speech delay. I agreed to that.

Mainly, we discussed the biting. They don't bite him back (see above). I told her I thought the quickest way to get him to stop would be when he is bit a few times. I said, "Obviously, I know you can't encourage this, but if he's on the other side of the room, bites someone, they start to bite him back and you can't get there in time? So be it."

Don't get me wrong. I don't want my child to be bitten! However, I think he will think twice if he believes someone may bite him back. He can be the most loving child in the world. I just want others to see it, too.

I am looking for tried and true (unorthodox?) methods you've tried to get your child from biting. Someone said Tabasco on the tongue. Ouch! Please share your wisdom!

Here we go again...

2008-10-14T17:41:00.000-07:00

When I arrived to pick Curt up from pre-school, I had a note the head teacher wanted to talk with me. Obviously, this can't be good.

I will go to meet with her at 8:30 when she comes to his class. Longtime readers may remember she is not there when I drop Curt off or pick him up. If you're new here, you will need to read this post and the few following to learn of the weirdness of the first meeting they called that never happened.

Sigh. This sucks. I'm sure it's the biting.

Why can't I do this Mom stuff very well?

Scenes...

2008-10-12T21:45:00.000-07:00

R: Well, it goes back to that night you broke my toilet seat.

D: Dude, I did NOT break your toilet seat. It's five dollars. If I broke it, I would pay you for it.

D's wife: How the hell do you know who broke it? You were out stealing beer from other campers' coolers at the time!

The West Tennessee Funk -- with photos!

2008-10-09T05:29:00.000-07:00

I went to the walk-in clinic Monday before my trip to southwest Tennessee to speak to a Rotary Club.

And may I say I HATE that? I hate public speaking. I have improved over the years, but I still hate it with a passion.

I digress, as I have a tendency to do.

The diagnosis was what I already knew. Another sinus infection. My third in four months. Apparently, I am not alone. The NP I see deemed it "The West Tennessee Funk." It seems for those of us who have allergy problems, those will irritate the sinuses. When germs come a-calling, they don't leave. They multiply! I haven't missed work, but I'm sure my co-workers would like to hear less hacking. I know, don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

Since my first sinus infection in July, I seem to have lost 7 pounds. The stress diet.

There's the bad. I'm posting these photos of Curt from last weekend. They make me feel better.

The petting zoo.
Curt, LT, and a camel. (Thanks to LT for watching him while I was in a meeting!)

As you may remember from his birthday party, he loves this shit.

See those circles under his eyes? Allergies, too. Zyrtec every day. Poor baby.

Face-painting.

Last year, he would have NEVER let anyone paint his face. This year, he asked for it and stayed perfectly still, enjoying it. That's my boy.

That's right, I have a Blog

2008-10-04T21:28:00.000-07:00

Tidbits of note:

C1 was injured in his game Thursday night. Concussion. We were afraid his collarbone was broken, so he and Cowboy were in the ER until 1:00 am getting that checked. Fortunately, it was only bruised. However, through xrays, they determined C1 has an air bubble near his lung that could collapse it. Or, maybe not. Ok, I feel better.

Did I mention I hate football? I would bring it up, but it would do no good.

Today was my university's Homecoming. Fun for all. Curt had a blast between jumping houses, the petting zoo, face painting and balloons. He also had no accidents. Yeah! He fell asleep before 8:00 pm. Naps, I've decided ARE of the devil.

Cowboy and I have come to a better place. I don't know really why. (It certainly isn't due to the fact that we have more time or opportunities for sex.)

I am adjusting to a teenager. Lazy, moody, blah, blah, blah.

Work is kicking my butt. This task force is taking alot of time. I wish I could say it was all productive, but I cannot. Hopefully, it slow down soon.

I hope you are well. Don't give up on me. I feel creativity will surely flow through my veins at sometime in the near future.

Stepmonster

2008-09-30T18:20:00.000-07:00

He is a good kid. He is, for the most part, respectful.

His grades are atrocious. He doesn't seem to care. (?!?) My parents were completely anal about this. I only made one C between K-12. Of course, I also CARED.

I've known him since he was five years old (He's now 13.)

His Dad (Cowboy) is so excited to finally see him play football. What he's heard about for years. We were only able to see one game ever until this year.

His Dad has missed out on a lot.

Unfortunately, we did not "receive" him in 3rd or 4th grade, when he was A/B honor roll. We got him now. And, it ain't A/B.

I'm worried to death about him.

He is grounded. No cell phone, which is his life line. When we see progress, that may change.

Everyone is on his side. He is the one who needs to get on board.
.
.
.

On a lighter note, Curt's PT is going much better than I expected. At least as far as #1 goes. Number 2 is a different story. Dr. B said if we don't see vast improvement in the next week, he has an addendum to his plan. Oh, goody. I can hardly wait. (But Dr. B praised him Friday at his appointment) Curt is really doing well.

Hey, just another day in paradise. Is it hard to believe that five years ago, I had no children?

Yeah, me too.

Goodbye sweet, talented man

2008-09-28T21:02:00.001-07:00

We will miss you. You did wonderul things, on and off the screen. And, you were pretty darn sexy.

Sights and Sounds

2008-09-26T20:53:00.000-07:00

Sounds from a quiet house on Friday night...

After a week of rough-housing and stress, it's quite nice to hear almost nothing at this moment. (There is too much testosterone in this house. I am outnumbered.)

What I do hear is...

C1 getting up to go to the bathroom

Cowboy snoring

Refrigerator humming

Television at a soft hum as background noise (versus a loud, loud roar... that will be tomorrow. Game day, eh?) This sign was a gift to me. In sympathy.

Nothing from Curt (Thank God almighty, free at last!)

Wine glass clinking

Have a great weekend

Peace out.

ETA: (After glass two) I've actually had time to think tonight. Rare. This is hard. This is very hard. To be the mom-figure, but not the Mother. It's hard enough when you are the Mother. My boundries? Still figuring it out. I know I tickled his legs and feet for an hour tonight (at his request). How do I figure in this equation? It's tricky. It's exhausting. That's another post in itself. To come...

Day of Doom

2008-09-25T18:46:00.000-07:00

Report cards were issued today. It was not good. In fact, it was very, very bad.

Within an hour, I had an email from my MIL. It reads:

I just heard from (Cowboy) and of course he is topping trees about (C1's) report card so in saying that you are going to have help guide him in helping get (C1) on the right school track.

1. Will you please find him a tutor ( I will help with $$$ for this).
2. WIll you go with (Cowboy) to the counselor or tell him what to say.
> he needs to have each teacher send home his grades each week.
> have teacher send (Cowboy) and you a list of work each week. Put it on your refrigerator so you can all see it and (C1) will know that you know what he has to do.
> Make him bring his books home every night
> Make (Cowboy) sit in the same room with him while he does his homework
> Tell (Cowboy) to check his homework each night. No exceptions

(Cowboy) has to understand that he has run wild with no supervision for 2 years. It will take him sometime to get him straightened out.

Tell (Cowboy) he needs to be stern but not unreasonable dealing with this. (C1) will still have to know we love him and are wanting what is best for him.

Jeanna I thank God everyday for you - please help us get through this.

Have I mentioned I love my MIL?

Thanks to the football coach, who is also the assistant principal, we have several things on her list already covered, including the tutor and weekly reports.

He is fully capable, but I believe we have a long way to go.

Lean Times = OETF

2008-09-24T11:26:00.000-07:00

The university where I work is, like all others in the state, facing budgets cuts. Pretty severe cuts, actually.

One of the reasons I am having trouble posting is I have been appointed by our chancellor to a task force that has important responsibilities and a short time frame. Many multi-hour meetings.

The task force is made up of 12 people, one being myself. There are more than 800 employees on this campus. The odds of hiding from the pissed are not good.

(The campus email from our Chancellor...)

Colleagues,

I am pleased to announce the appointment of a university-wide task force as a part of our overall strategic planning process for this fall. Based upon recommendations from each Vice Chancellor, members of the Organization and Efficiency Task Force (OETF) are: (12 names, including mine, which have been deleted.) The task force has the option to elect a chair from within the group membership if they choose to do so.

Task force members will begin meeting soon and are being asked to consider organizational structures and recommend ways to improve our efficiency. Please know that division and departmental units will be concurrently involved in making budget and operational recommendations as well. My intent is to maximize campus input and disseminate information through multiple avenues including open forums during which individuals can express their concerns and hopefully offer constructive suggestions that will help us as we plan for the coming months and years.

This special task force is being asked to explore avenues to ensure we make the best decisions that best guide and frame reorganization, consolidation, or outsourcing of activities, programs, and services we provide on and off campus. Our target for completion of task force recommendations is November 1, 2008. Once recommendations are received the Chancellor’s Staff will review all input and consider appropriate actions.

Yo, Bruce!

2008-09-19T22:40:00.001-07:00

We're in Knoxville for a meeting and a certain ball game. Expenses paid. Not a bad deal, eh? Ok, not drinks, but, hey, we're without kids (both of them) for the first time in two months! Wheee! And, I mean, Whee!

Anyway, I endured the four-hour event (which was actually fun) and then, we went out with LT and DT. They were also in town for the big game.

First, we went to Preservation Pub, which I highly recommend. The Pub had a band, "Big Bad Juke Box." Young guys who played 80s and 90s with a twist. Really, really good stuff.

Then, as we returned to the hotel, Cowboy alerted us to the fact that, indeed, Bruce Pearl was in the house. (FYI -- Pearl is UT's basketball coach.) Pearl tried to flee, but I begged, and he relented. Shown are LT and Cowboy with Bruce. Sorry, cell phone picture is not the best quality. Yet, cool!

Amazingly enough, this was second time TODAY Cowboy had seen Pearl (and spoken to him). I told him, if you see him tomorrow, please don't speak to him. He might have you arrested as a stalker.

P.S. Did I mention Cowboy bought me a new phone for my birthday? A nice phone with camera options? Expect many more poor photos in the future. Also, please wish Bizzy a happy birthday. Hers is coming up very soon! Happy Birthday, Bizzy, from one anal-retentive Virgo to another.

This Says It All

2008-09-18T11:59:00.001-07:00

I try to avoid the election here on da blog.

However, some sentiments never go out of style.

I'd hate to be remembered for being stupid and the suckage

that is both the War In Iraq and "No Child Left Behind."

Have a nice day!

The Life Cycle of a Blog by Sue (and more potty talk)

2008-09-17T07:47:00.000-07:00

Since Sue has had trouble with folks "borrowing" this post, I want to make sure to give her due credit. Ya'll, this post is so funny I almost peed in my pants:

The Life Cycle of a Blog

. . . . . . . .

Now, back to our regular programming...

Curt only had one accident as school yesterday! And, none at home. This peeing in the potty may actually take (she reports cautiously). Any bets as to how long the pooping will take?

Potty Training Boot Camp -- Day 4

2008-09-15T07:03:00.000-07:00

That's today.

Let's review, shall we?

Friday - one pee less than 50%
Saturday -- also one pee less than 50%
Sunday -- 100% (pee only)
Today -- 1 for 1...so far

Positive reinforcements -- claps, hugs, high fives, sucker
Negative reinforcement -- time-out (per Dr. B)

He had three bowel movements yesterday. We're not really even focusing on that yet, as all I've heard is that the pee has to come first. Oh well. Sh!t happens.

I will be taking him to preschool tomorrow with several changes of clothes. Any and all good thoughts would be appreciated.

ETA: We were also 100% today (with one poo - may I add that is just gross? I'm not above giving a tiny shot of Imodium, and I do have it in my cabinet. At least then, it will be hard. Geez.)

The Food Meme

2008-09-12T07:32:00.000-07:00

After completing this, I realize how non-evolved I am about food. I was a pudgy kid (see the "Warthog" entry). I lived to eat. Now, I just eat to live.

1. How do you like your eggs?
I like eggs cooked many ways. Poached, fried, scrambled, omelettes, hard-boiled. If they are scrambled, they must be dry. (Right, Bizzy?)

2. How do you take your coffee/tea?
I take my coffee with cream and my tea, iced with sweet and low (remember, I'm a Southern gal.)

3. Favorite breakfast food:
Ummm, bacon. English muffins. I heart most all breakfast foods.

4. Peanut butter:
Creamy. I like Peter Pan or Jif.

5. What kind of dressing on your salad?
I never ate a salad until college because I didn't like any dressings. Ranch is my first love and the only one I could stomach for years. I will now eat fancy, smancy vinaigrette at functions -- but I would rather have ranch.

6. Coke or Pepsi?
Diet Coke. And more of it.

7. You’re feeling lazy. What do you make?
If I'm really lazy, I'm not making anything. Rarely happens these days.

8. You’re feeling really lazy. What kind of pizza do you order?
Here in BFE, we don't even have Domino's. We have small business pizza that is really good. I order that. Pepperoni and mushroom is my favorite.

9. You feel like cooking. What do you make?
Homemade spaghetti, lasagna, smothered steak, chili, chicken and rice. Something new.

10. Do any foods bring back good memories?
Deviled eggs and lemon iced box pie from Christmas at Honey's (my grandmother).

11. Do any foods bring back bad memories?
Baked beans, when my Dad forced me to eat them.

12. Do any foods remind you of someone?
See #10. Also, the smothered steak, my mom.

13. Is there a food you refuse to eat?
Refuse is a strong word, but I hate slaw. And mustard potato salad. See above for baked beans. Also, I don't like catfish. I'm SOL at a picnic.

14. What was your favorite food as a child?
Pop Tarts or pudding. My mom's smothered steak with creamed potatos (NOT mashed, there is a difference.)

15. Is there a food that you hated as a child but now like?
Many. Salads, for instance. I will also eat more vegetables.

16. Is there a food that you liked as a child but now hate?
Nope. Still like the junk.

17. Favorite fruit and vegetable:
Ok, still hate melons. I like Granny Smith apples and grapes. I like broccoli and cauliflower, fresh, and I love fresh spinach on a salad.

18. Favorite junk food:
All of it.

19. Favorite between meal snack:
Chips, I don't really have a sweet tooth, except at certain times of the month.

20. Do you have any weird food habits?
I don't like my foods to touch each other on the plate. When I was a kid, I used to eat one food on my plate at a time, starting with the least favorite so I could savor the favorite at the end.

21. You’re on a diet. What food(s) do you fill up on?
Cheddar rice cakes, yogurt. I don't really diet anymore.

22. You’re off your diet. Now what would you like?
PIZZA. Cheeseburgers. Fries.

23. How spicy do you order Indian/Thai?
No such restaurant in BFE. I don't think I could cook it, either. Curry smells like b.o. to me.

24. Can I get you a drink?
Yep.

25. Red or White Wine?
Most of the time, white. However, merlot with a good steak. ummm.

26. Favorite dessert?
Chocolate or cheesecake. Or Creme Brulee.

27. The perfect nightcap?
The smell of Curt's head...or a shot of my special cough medicine.

The Long and Winding Road

2008-09-10T07:42:00.000-07:00

I'm a workin' Mama and a firm believer in the theory, "work smart, not hard." Therefore, this post is actually my reply to email from reader Jodi, also the mother of a late-talker (Hi, Jodi!). It's also an update of our journey.

Jodi,

Thanks for writing (and your kind words). I guess I don’t have to tell you that much about me since you read the blog! When I found Ange’s blog, I sat and read the whole thing, tears streaming down my face. She was the first person (mother) I “knew” who had gone through something similar to what I had. What a relief! Before I found a network, I felt so alone. The Natural Late Talker group has been wonderful for me, even if we’re discussing potty training, picky eating or being strong-willed (which Curt definitely is). I know I’ve seen your posts on that list several times.

Funny, I too am a journalism grad, although not using it in the traditional way. I’m the “wordsmith” of my office and write proposals, news releases and features on donors, though, so I still am able to write.

Curt is doing much better at preschool in many ways. He stayed with a babysitter (who kept only him) until he was 2; he was really never around any other kids. At the time, I didn’t think too much about that, but now, I feel that delayed his social skills as much as the language delay. He now participates in circle time, sings, paints, colors, and is now writing – which I am thrilled about! Dr. B. suggested an OT eval this summer, which made me sick. NO MORE EVALS! However, since writing his name, he has not mentioned it again. Hoorah!

We’ve had trouble with biting and pinching, which I hear is quite common with language delays. That has also improved greatly in the last month. Every morning when we go into school, I say, “Curt, what do we say at school?” and he says, “No bite.” “and?” “No pinch.” If he can say it, he can live it!

About school. We live in a rural area, so I really don’t have a lot of options but public school. Homeschool is not an option for me income-wise. (Also, to be honest, I think Curt and I would drive each other crazy!) He won’t begin until age 6 (with a July 22 birthday). His SLP is through the school he will be attending and she is great. I think she will be a big help and he can continue to see her when he begins. To be honest, I am scared to death of school. Dr. B’s goal for us is to be Kindergarten-ready. He does not have the best bedside manner, but he gets results.

We saw the Camaratas when Curt was 2.3; they did not give us a “catch-up” time at that age. We really need to see them again in the next year. I believe that will also help us if we need back-up for the schools.

To summarize: He’s come a long way and still has a long way to go.

Beans, Beans (or Curt's Language is Quickly Developing)

2008-09-08T14:51:00.000-07:00

Last night, I awoke in the middle of the night, somewhat drowsy. I wasn't really sure why I woke up.

The house was dark and quiet – the perfect opportunity to pass a little gas.

Right afterward, a little voice in the darkness said, “Toot loud.”

I was little ashamed, yet strangely proud...of Curt, that is.

Whew

2008-09-05T07:06:00.001-07:00

I'm still here. We have a big meeting tomorrow and my role was increased suddenly when a co-worker's son was in a serious accident. It looks like he will totally recover, thankfully.

This week, Cowboy started leaving the house before 7 a.m. and I am in charge of getting two boys out of the door by 7:30. One I still have to dress and waking the other is like raising the dead. Guess which?

I feel like walking dead.

I'll be back.

It's a Boy

2008-08-29T16:07:00.000-07:00

We received the papers from the Alabama courts today. Looks like Cowboy is the proud, legal parent of a 100-pound boy (me, too, I guess). It seems like yesterday C1 was six years old, now he's playing football with his own (albeit small) cheering section of screaming little girls.

I am now calling him C1, with Curt being C2, of course. This is due to another blogger who had her stepson come live with them and the mother had her sign an agreement she would never speak of her son on her blog again. Hello? Free speech, anyone? Anyway...

He has fit in very well. In the words of his football coach (who also happens to be the assistant principal) "I've never seen someone come in and fit in so well. He's run with the main crowd from the beginning."

He has a crush on the prettiest girl in school. She's a beauty. She also lives down the street. Although she has a boyfriend, they've gone on walks, gone to the park, and hung out at her house. He will not admit to this crush, but I know it's for real.

He is doing great in football. Interceptions, long runs, photo in the paper. He hasn't made the great touchdown yet, but that will probably happen. My parents came to see him in his game last night as well as my nephew. They won. He did well.

Is this too good to be true?

I guess we will find out at report card time.

He was an honor roll student, save for the past two years. Boy, did things go downhill from there. However, the grades we've seen have been good. He says it's all good. I hope he's telling the truth.

If he brings home a bad report, Cowboy will lose it. It won't be pretty. We don't know his history in school that well. This is all new to me. I just want him to do the best he can.

I hope he knows we're his most loyal cheering section.

Baby, Write This Down

2008-08-28T09:43:00.000-07:00

Curt basically refused to hold a pencil by himself. He would take my hand, put it over his, and we would write his name or other letters together.

That is, until this week.

He did these at school. This one he traced (obviously) and added an extra "C."

Freehand! Ok, he started the "C" too far to the right and had to start back at the left with his "u." Also, the "4" (they said) was under the "r" isn't very clear, but I'm pretty impressed for his first attempt ever!

(However, the fact that I scanned these and posted them on a blog may have already tipped you off.)

ETA: When I picked Curt up this afternoon, I learned this certainly wasn't an isolated incident. He's been writing all week. Even the other kids were bragging on him. Now, if we could eliminate the pinching. I'm off to the middle school football game.

I'll Take These Odds

2008-08-26T07:48:00.000-07:00

Nearly 80 percent of children with language delays at age two catch up when they turn seven, according to a new study.

In the study led by Mabel Rice, the Fred and Virginia Merrill Distinguished Professor of Advanced Studies and director of the Centre for Biobehavioral from Curtin University in Perth, Australia, the team examined the language development of single and twin children in the western part of the country.

They found that of 1,766 toddlers, boys are three times as likely as girls to be late-talking toddlers. Yet when the children were 7 years of age, no differences were found between girls and boys.

Rice said that obviously some kind of mechanism kicks in for the boys.

“Between the age of 2 and 7, they actually learn language faster than girls. After age 7, boys and girls stay on the same trajectory.

“For children who are still late talkers in school, it is important to provide early intervention and enrichment. “Parents should contact a speech pathologist if they have any concerns,” she added.
The data in her latest study also show that a mother’s education, income, parenting style and mental health does not predict when a child will start to talk.

“In our large and diverse sample, children in families with limited means have as good a chance at starting to talk as those in families with lots of resources,” said Rice.

The study is published in the April issue of the Journal of Speech, Language and Hearing Research.

Awarded!

2008-08-25T07:02:00.000-07:00

Monday mornings suck. But, not so much when presented with something like this:
Thanks, Brenda! I'm honored! Brenda is an incredible writer; her stories are so vivid, I can smell the pizza and hear the laughter. She also tagged Bizzy with this award -- and rightly so.

Although there are many blogs to which I would like to make this presentation, I'm going to pass the medal to two blogs I've stumbled upon fairly recently, drowning in kids and Second Half. Both are very well-written and resonate to me in certain ways.

It's a nice way to start an otherwise fierce Monday. Strained talk about finances is making the home life pretty stressful. Relief, hopefully, may be in sight.

Here's to the Crazy Ones

2008-08-22T07:47:00.000-07:00

I saw this quote on drowning in kids. Great quote, great blog.

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify, or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as crazy, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
- Jack Kerouac -

Zelda Fitzgerald watercolor, "A Mad Tea Party" (She is one of my favorite crazies.)

These are the people I like the best.

A Little Wager

2008-08-20T07:56:00.000-07:00

Finally, I got Cowboy off his chaps and convinced him to sell the fishing boat. It sold on Ebay. The good news (no, really, with our track record, this is good news!) is that we only lost $350 from our purchase price. Here she is in all her glory, currently on a trailer, heading to Memphis.

We recently bought a deck boat, which has most of the power of the ski boat, but roomy like a pontoon. The best of both worlds. So, the next course of business is to sell the pontoon.
Last year, we paid $3,500 for the pontoon boat and trailer. That actually was a pretty good deal. It is listed on Ebay as of last night. Here’s where the wager comes in. How much will we lose on the pontoon boat? $300? $500? Or do you think we will actually (gasp!) recoup our investment? .

Why did we have three boats? Hell if I know.

Bad News vs. Good News

2008-08-19T07:38:00.000-07:00

BAD NEWS:

1. Curt not only has pink eye, but when I took him to the clinic, it seems he has an ear infection as well. Oh yeah, and a weird rash.

2. I had to take the day off work.

3. The truck pooped. (This should really be #1.) It is most likely the motor. That's a $5-10,000 repair. Oh, shit.

4. The school called. C1 forgot his homework on Friday; he will be subjected to something that I can't remember. Basically, he has to do his homework in study hall and give it to that teacher. What sucks is, he did it, I checked it, but he forgot it.

5. Ange has quit, temporarily, I hope, her blog. Please come back soon, Ange, we need you.

GOOD NEWS:

1. We are all basically healthy, for the most part.

2. We have an opportunity to buy into an existing business that may turn things around.

3. C1 has somehow fit right in at school and seems to be very happy. He started at his football Jamboree Saturday and did well. Likewise, his grades are good so far. Curt has started speaking in sentences. Wow.

4. I had to take the day off work.

Yippee.

ETA: Yeah! She's back!

Just Breathe

2008-08-17T20:09:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone who repsonded to my request on their stories. I loved reading them and wish we could find a way to put them together, bound and tear-streaked free for new moms entering this journey. The network I've found has been invaluable to me, so "thank you." If you have yet to respond and want to, please do so!

My dear, sweet (stubborn, hard-headed) Curt did arithmatic today. He added and added, via computer. I cheered him on at every step. It was great.

As wonderful as that was, an email I received this weekend put everything into perspective. I didn't get permission from Heather (sorry!), but I really don't think she'll mind. Her son is almost five and doing great. It said:

"Things just keep getting better and better. He is getting more mature. He is different from other kids but I am glad. He is just "son" and I wouldn't have him any other way. Like Dr. Camarata said, the things we worry about now will keep him out of trouble as a teenager. "Everybody's doing it" will have no appeal to him. He follows the beat of his own drum."

Well said, Heather. I feel my subconsicous goal has been for Curt to be like everyone else. Is that what I really want? Maybe it shouldn't be.

Moms of Late-Talkers, Come on Down!

2008-08-15T12:39:00.000-07:00

It is not my desire to turn this into a blog totally about Curt and his language delay. I have so many other topics about which I want to grouse and moan.

That being said, I've had several comments, here and there, from moms of late-talkers. For those of you who've commented, those who found me from a late-talking search, or for whatever reason -- I'd like to hear from you.

1. When did you become concerned?
2. Have you had a diagnosis? What was it?
3. What techniques are you using to help your child? speech therapy?
4. Are there any books you would recommend that have been especially helpful? (I've heard alot recently about this book, "Play to Learn" and how it is great to promote speech.)
5. How are you and your child doing now?

I'm interested in hearing your stories, ideas.

P.S. (You knew there would be one, right? Bizzy, I love the P.S./crack analogy, btw.) Dr. B praised Curt today. His compliance, his social skills, and his language. We've been seeing him for about a year now. I'm going to email him soon and request we see him every other week. Curt has progressed so much. Wish me luck.)

P.P.S. (Somebody stop me!) If you have a blog, please let me know and I will add you to my LT blog list.

Whatever, Martha!

2008-08-13T18:33:00.000-07:00

I love Martha Stewart, yet, I love the bashing of Martha Stewart. Does that make me bi-polar?

"Whatever, Martha!" premieres on the Fine Living Channel Sept. 16. Now, many people could probably spoof Martha successfully, but who better than her own daughter?

Alexis Stewart comes across as one royal bitch. I like her.

Read more about the show here. I'll be there with popcorn right after I pry the remote from Cowboy's dead fingers.

P.S. Thanks for all your nice (well, mostly) comments on my earlier post. You are right. Let sleeping dogs lie and let her hang herself. It's so much more fun to watch that way.

P.P.S. Yes, yet another P.S.

Flight or Fight?

2008-08-12T07:59:00.001-07:00

I need advice.

I knew we weren't friends, even though she acted as though we were. I knew if she gossiped and criticized everyone to me, she was surely doing the same when I wasn't present.

We had a "discussion" two weeks ago, when I confronted her about several remarks. I agreed to "start fresh" with her as her family's camper is RIGHT NEXT to ours at Camp Redneck and our husbands are friends.

This weekend, I learned she is not happy dissing only a rip in one's boat seats or how many hours one's husbands works. She said the following (in a nutshell) to a small group of people in April. One individual finally told me.

"He's the way he is because they don't work with him. He's obviously autistic, but she won't believe that. People have told her, but she just wants to listen to that one doctor."

This comes from a woman who claims to love Curt. (Please note that I am showing great restraint in not calling her many, many names.)

I'm not going to defend myself here. If you read this, I believe you know differently. My question is: Should I confront her or not? Just because I sound calm, don't think for a minute her comments did not make me weep, scream and generally break my heart. She's a special kind of evil.

Oh yeah, and I listened to two doctors who are specialists, Bitch. (oops.)

P.S. This post is too damn depressing, even for me. To lighten the mood, I will leave you with words of email wisdom from non-blogger (but really, really should), Eva. Back in the day (for me, that would be to-day), we were notorious for our numerous p.s.'. I was known to open a sealed letter to Eva to add one, two, or maybe five postscripts.

SUBJECT LINE: another p.s.

I am reverting to all my old bad habits with you. What's next? Prank phone calls? Monogrammed sweaters? ABBA?

Seriously:
Late-talking retarded husband has a degree from Princeton. And enviable SATs. (I know you will take this comment as it's intended - to soothe your nerves.)

He has just chimed in from across the room: "Don't worry about it. Enjoy the silence."

Of course, the man can't change a lightbulb.

- Eva

Thanks, Eva. Clearly, your timing couldn't have been better.

I Found Her

2008-08-08T06:39:00.000-07:00

It was surprisingly simple. One Google search and I found stories she'd written for a newspaper. Those bylines make you easier to find, good or bad. I emailed the newspaper and asked her to contact me. In an hour, I had a response. In lieu of the longest email in history, I just sent her the link.

She responded (and commented on the entry! I love comments! I'm not hinting or anything. Just saying.).

I digress. She sent me a lovely email with lots of news. She is married with two children and has returned to her hometown where, surprisingly (to her), she is happy. She just recently ditched the newspaper business to become a grant writer for the local community arts center. I will not post the mail in its entirety, but I do want to share a few things without infringing on her privacy. While we are quite different (she exercises and is a great writer, among other things), I think you may see a similarity or two.

Jeanna -

I spent way too much time last night on your blog, going back through months and months in reverse chronological order. So I have a good sense of your life now: fairly complicated, but not uncommon!

. . . . . . . . .

Life NOW is filled with squabbling siblings, a labor-intensive new puppy, a new job. Homeschooling weirdness with my eager-to-learn son. A husband who works long hours. Hot summers. A pathetic garden. Canoeing on the lovely S. River. Soccer/Swimming/Violin/Art. An Episcopal church. Beer.

. . . . . . . . .

Time is so collapsible, Jeanna. And there's no such place as far away (the title of a favorite book of mine in 1983). Toward that end:

I am two for two with late-talking children who needed intervention. Both are chatterboxes now. Ditto my only nephew and my husband's only nephew. My husband didn't speak until he was four. (His father, a real character, allegedly used to openly speculate that he was "retarded" - said in a thick Old Virginia Money accent.) I remember when "Son" was that age, all his little peers were so verbal, or could recite songs, or would say clever things, and "Son" would merely grunt! I am a tad competitive, and this just killed me.

I don't share this to diminish your struggles, but simply because misery ... loves company!

Wellbutrin?
Lexapro works for me! ;)

I look back on all my correspondence, (YOUR letters are not numbered and bound, but I DO still have them) and cringe slightly. I was so easily distracted and so ignorant of the ways of the world. Completely rudderless. But oh-so boy crazy!

Love and blessings and appreciation for seeking me out -

- Eva

I wanted to find Eva for many reasons. However, after finding out she is the mother of two late-talkers, I'm blown away. It just seems meant to be.

ETA: She has worked for several newspapers including a Pulitzer-prize winning shop. NOT just at a family-owned paper. Not that it's easier there. Nope. Not at all.

Dear Pen Pal

2008-08-06T19:05:00.000-07:00

That was how we started our letters in the beginning.

Eva was my pen pal from the time I was eight years old until I was in college. I still have all her letters, bound and numbered, in a trunk in my current house.

We went from stories of girl angst to parent angst, to boys. From the first kiss to "going all the way." We told each other our thoughts we thought no one else would understand.

She was from Virginia. We called each other on rare occasion. I loved the way she talked, like Southern meets Canada with the how-se thing. This was before the times of nationwide cell phones. I had to pay my parents back for those long-distance calls. Still, it wasn't the same when we talked on the phone. We had uncomfortable silences that we never had in our letters. I guess because in our letters, we never actually had to have a conversation.

I felt I knew her better than I knew most of my "best friends." I knew she had a torn heart between the boy who was her intellectual equal and the one who made her loins ache.

We both wanted to be writers. We both majored in journalisim in college. We both worked in the newspaper industry for a while. She, at a family paper of her husband's.

She found me when Switchboard came out. We caught up, but didn't stay in touch as we were in our 30s and had family obligations. I'd like to find her again and give her this blog address.

She was always a better writer than me.

Perhaps this blog is a poor substitiute for what I had with Eva for all those years, all those years ago. I miss her.

She Signed

2008-08-04T12:45:00.000-07:00

She signed the custody agreements this afternoon. The school is sending all his documents and immunization records 2-day mail. We will have to register him late, but it looks like he will be able to start school on time.

This is really happening.

Amazing.

Hick

2008-08-03T19:04:00.000-07:00

OK, so we were on our way to Camp Redneck. That still counts, right?

Scene: McDonald's Drive-thru

C1: I want a Hick.

Semi: What?

C1: You know, a Hick!

Semi: I've never heard of that.

C1: It's right there on the menu. I had it yesterday! Look!

Semi: Do you mean a "Hi-C?"

C1: Yeah, that's it.

My stepson truly is from Alabama.

I Heart Brett Favre

2008-08-01T07:00:00.000-07:00

I'm not a big football fan. There, I said it.

I like college basketball a lot. I like college football, but, unlike some people I live with who shall remain nameless, cannot watch it all the live long day. I cannot start my day at 9:00 am with ESPN's College Game Day and still be at it at 10:00 p.m., watching teams from the West Coast.

I don't really like professional football. Men earning $50 million a year and yet, they complain. Most pro-football players act like really, really big babies. Or buttheads. Tom Brady, anyone?

Ok, there are a few I like. That Bus guy. The Manning brothers. Peyton may as well be the governor of this state. Tennessee men dream "What if he were to come to the Titans?" with that look on their face they had when Daddy gave them their first puppy.

Then, there's Brett. I love Brett because he's...

1. Damn good-looking.

2. Not 23 years old.

3. Southern (with Southern manners)

4. Loves his family.

5. Kicks butt in the face of adversity.

6. Not afraid to cry.

7. Plays for the Pack who are owned by the citizens of the city.

8. We're talking Wisconsin, the land of beer and cheese. I also heart beer and cheese.

9. Donated millions back to the community.

10. A Team Player.

11. Damn good-looking.

And, if you think I am crazy for Brett, men like Cowboy and Flack and Proud aren't afraid to show their love for #4, either.

Brett, if the Pack don't want you back, come on over to my house.

A Success

2008-07-30T13:48:00.000-07:00

How is it that I can ask someone for a $1 million pledge without getting very stressed, but planning a four-year-old's birthday party nearly sent me over the edge? Shouldn't the fact that I've planned events for two hundred adults make this an easier process?

A few of my crazy thoughts from last week...

"Can I get a cupcake cake?"

"Oh, no! Three of these glow-in-the-dark bracelets have already been "cracked" and are already glowing! They are for the favor bags! I must return to Dollar Tree tomorrow!" (Insert super-hero swoosh to that one.)

and, most importantly...

"Does NO ONE RSVP anymore? How many kids should I expect? What if NO ONE comes?"

They came. We had 16-18 kids there as well as parents and a few family friends. When they are running around these huge inflatable slides, houses and obstacle courses, it's diffcult to get a correct count.

They came. They jumped. They ate cake. They brought Curt cool presents.

Then, Nana took Curt home with her for two days. That was Semi's present.

"This is the most fun e-vah!"

This is "Miss Hallie," aptly named for a little teacher such as, well, Miss Hallie. She loves her some Curt.

And she doesn't mind showing it.

Or giving him high-fives for blowing out his candles.

Or, showing him how the toy she brought for him works.

Fortunately, Curt loves him some Hallie, too.

If you made it this far, thanks. However, you should know I actually took it easy on you. These were only a few of the photos -- I could've posted many, many more! Bwa-ha-ha!

P.S. As you can see from the photo above, C1 is still here, practicing football and charming the ladies.

Beautiful Boy

2008-07-22T07:58:00.001-07:00

John Lennon says it far better than I every could.

Close your eyes,
Have no fear,
The monsters gone,
He's on the run and your daddy's here,

Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,

Before you go to sleep,
Say a little prayer,
Every day in every way,
It's getting better and better,

Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,

Out on the ocean sailing away,
I can hardly wait,
To see you to come of age,
But I guess we'll both,
Just have to be patient,
Yes it's a long way to go,
But in the meantime,

Before you cross the street,
Take my hand,
Life is just what happens to you,
While your busy making other plans,

Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,
Darling,
Darling,
Darling Boy.

Happy Birthday, Curt. Mama loves you more than you know.

Now What?

2008-07-20T20:54:00.000-07:00

I was worried about him coming.

Now, I'm worried about him staying.

He seems adament, but still, I worry.

We have get the processes in place to enroll him in school...this week. The first requires Cowboy to call his mom to agree to a temporary custody order. He doesn't look forward to this. So sorry, has to be done to enroll him in school, which happens the FIRST WEEK in August. So early.

He is steadfast for now. I hope he remains that way as we scurry around to get all this done.

Whew.

PS I know this may be boring, but it is my life, my blog. Sorry.