Thursday, May 22, 2008

Fridge Worthy

It may not seem monumental to many parents. But it's some big-time business for Semi. Curt did not (would not?) speak at all on his 3rd birthday. He had said numerous words once or twice, never to be spoken again. Less than a year later (10 months), looky here.

This is his latest report from Dr. Brown's visit. He identified verbally all of the above. He missed purple, which he knows (dammit!). However, that's still straight A's for my boy.

You can bet your sweet ass this baby is on the fridge. Have a great holiday weekend.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Jumping for Joy

Semi: I need to take my medication.

Cowboy: Ok, just don't overdose on it.

Semi: What would happen if I OD'd? Would I become very, very happy?

Cowboy: If I see you jumping for joy, I'll know you're in trouble.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Sunday Photos

We, all three, went to the Lake this weekend. The whole weekend -- Friday night until Sunday afternoon. Whew. It wears me out. Correction. Curt wears me out. I will try to take photos next weekend of the Memorial Day debauchery. Nana is keeping Curt. Should be fun. For now, enjoy my bad photography of Sunday evening.
American Gothic, John Deere style. (Relax, the blade is not engaged.)
Iris is the Tennessee state flower. I love them anyway. This is my first Japanese Iris of the year.
Sweet William. This and the Japanese Iris are starters from Nana's garden. And what a garden it is.

The backyard at near dusk. Curt was asleep 30 minutes after this -- at 8:00 p.m. He had a large weekend. I hope you did, too.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Job Hunting

True story... (the condom one was, too. Ok, it's all honest here.)

Employment Office Lady: Sir, weren't you here yesterday?

Cowboy: Yes, I was.

EOL: Then, why are you back today?

Cowboy: You didn't give me a job yesterday.

Is it weird that just cracked me up?

ETA: Does this qualify as a "train-wreck?" If so, I am anticipating more hits.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Another Bad Poem-like entry...Sorry

The poultry farm sells,
We are so happy.

What to do now?
Need to buy equipment.
Taxes will kick butt.

Dumptruck business sounds good
Last year, not much business.
Just getting started.

This year, more business
Gas kicking our ass.
No way, Jose.

A job?, a new business?
All up in the air.
Glad I have my medication.

Husband is a hard worker
It will work out.
But, when?

That is the question.
Don't you hate questions
Without answers?

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Ode to My Boy and Me -- aka Happy Mother's Day

I once knew a girl named Semi
She used to be a party girl.
She married -- twice
and wanted a baby (the whole time) .

She gave up on that plan
It was unsuccessful.
Then, two years later--
She was fertilized - unexpectedly.

What a crazy deal - 38 and pregnant.
She was happy beyond expression.
Birth was hard -- and long
But it was OK.
She finally had her baby.

It was all hard.
But her baby was a good baby.
One year old. Happy Birthday, Baby.
Why aren't you talking?

Begin the hell.
Stir and repeat.
Your perfect child is imperfect.
No matter what you think.

Happy 2nd Birthday, Baby.
Why aren't you talking?

He must be Autistic.
No, he's not.
He must be autistic.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Baby.

He still has problems with language.
The preschool doesn't like him.
I hate that...
They don't like him.

The other kids do.
The student teachers as well.
I hope the head teacher's grandchild
Will be as perfect as she hopes.
(he's in the class)

He is not perfect.
He is not compliant, for the most part.
He is very smart, if you will look for it.

If you are looking for a robot,
Who will follow your effing rules 100%,
He's not your guy.

If you want intelligent interaction
Maybe on his own timeframe
He's your little guy.

Don't expect too little,
Don't expect too much,
He is his own person.

Just like you, right?
I'm sorry, the way you *used* to be.

The way we all used to be.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Is It Bad?

Is it bad that my 3-year-old has his own computer? Does it make it better that his Nana bought a new one and gave this one to him? Does it make a difference if it enables Mom and Dad to actually use the laptop they have?
Give me your answers. Be honest, but be kind. Remember, no funds were spent. OK, not true. $10 speakers and $3 mouse pad. Quit yelling!
I took some well-deserved time off this week. Curt and I spent the day together today and it was very nice. Going to the Lake tomorrow. Cowboy is already there, of course. Partying will be happening. I HAVE MY BABYSITTER! Redneck at the Lake continues...
PS Thanks, Nana. Love the flat screen. Happy Mother's Day.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Cowboy and Semi Go Shopping

Semi: "You spent $11.24 plus tax on condoms?"
Cowboy: "Yeah, but it's the value pak. There's 40 in the box!"
Semi: "What's the expiration date?"

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

The Event

Let me begin by saying many, many people worked hard to make this event a success. We worked three days to decorate. We had hired a decorator who I thought would do most of this work. That didn't happen -- don't make me go there. We did it all. Three people on our staff worked until 2 a.m. Friday night to make this happen. ( I wasn't one of those peoople. Stop. I feel bad enough.)

It was the best event. Not according to me; this comes from two former CEOs and one's wife (wow) and the former women's athletics director. One of my good friends, but not an easy lady to please. The best event in 35 or 50 years, depending on the source and how long they've been associated with our campus.

The decor of the room done by one of our own was awesome. Period. Handbuilt clock towers and lampposts. That is his gift. (I wish I had a better photo. The one above does not do the room justice.)

My gift (if I have one) was organizing the program itself, creating the publication, the meal, etc. and so forth. It worked well. Having Pat Summitt, the winningest coach of all time and our alumna as our closing speaker, did not hurt.

I recieved a handwritten note from our current CEO. If you can't read it, it says:

"I can see your smile now -- whew, a great success. Several folks who were in the east for a similar event recently said our was better -- that means you for the planning, guiding, ensure we were covered. I was very proud last evening and I work on not being so, but this event was, so I am told, the most complicated, well done ever for (our campus). "

I received a little gift. Let me just say Cowboy's dirty feet won't be coming anywhere near this blankie. She practiced her speech on me in the powder room, ya'll! It's a little scary that jaded ole' me thinks this is so cool.

P.S. May I say I am SO glad it's over!

Monday, May 5, 2008


I feel free as a bird. The event is over. It was a grand success. A large weight has been lifted from my shoulders. More on this later...

My boy learned to blow bubbles today. Good for his oral motor skills and good for Mom and Dad as he will sit for a LONG TIME and blow, as opposed to running around like a mad man -- and us chasing him.

He is speaking in two-word sentences. He is progressing quickly. I love him.

My azaleas are in bloom. All is right with the world. At least for now.

I am back. Thanks to those who wanted me to be.