In lieu of a "real" post, I give you a snippet of my life the past 24 hours. I received the following email yesterday afternoon.
Good afternoon. I hope your day is going well. We need your assistance on some matters that concern Curt. We are having some difficulties with some behaviors and we are hoping that you can help us out. We realize that you may not see the behaviors that we see because at home he is not in a group learning environment and that some of these behaviors that we are seeing may be developmental, but we need to talk. Is he seeing Dr. Brown on Friday afternoons? If he is maybe he can give us some insight into how to get him to comply without having a major meltdown. There are behaviors that we are dealing with, that we have handled the same as we would any other child, but we do not seem to be making any head way and we are searching for solutions. We know that consistency is the only way to help Curt learn so we all need to be on the same page. If there are things that you are working on we need to try and do the same things that you have been instructed to do. We realize that some things cannot be handled the same as at home but we want to try to be as consistent as possible. Please see "teacher" to set a time that we can get together.
Well, my day was going pretty well until I received your email!
I am a member of the "Natural Late Talker" list. The following is what I posted there this morning (in response to the brief, panicked email I sent yesterday afternoon). Oh, Dr. Brown is his behavioral psychologist he's been seeing for compliance.
Monica (and others),
I have observed through the two-way, but cannot do so very often. He is there because I work. Unfortunately, my lunch coincides with nap-time, so that doesn't do me much good.
I, too, believe the note was quite reasonable - and there was no underlying threat. However, I know they think this is serious or they wouldn't have called a meeting. I had a parent/teacher conference last fall with the head teacher and the tantrums were mentioned, but I guess it's gotten worse.
There are 40 children in his "class" when everyone is there (not so right now with the flu). There is one head teacher and one assistant teacher with students serving as aides (university-run daycare; I work on campus). That's a lot of kids. In his previous room, there were 16 (he has always been the youngest). Dr. Brown already told me they did not/could not provide consistent time-outs.
His head teacher is almost never there when I pick him up/drop off (she comes to the room at 9am and leaves at 4:45), so I rarely get to talk to her personally. Last time was a couple of weeks ago when I took him late. They leave a "note" (or are supposed to) in his file when an incident occurs, i.e., behavior or if he falls, etc. I was looking at his file and noted he had lot of bad notes - the head teacher commented, "Some of them make Curt's look like nothing!" So, I guess that gives me hope they are trying to help and not give him the ax. But, I am wary.
I copied Dr. Brown on my response to her (and told her I was doing so for his input). He agrees that the behavioral problems (terrible 2s) many times are delayed with language delays. I meet with them tomorrow at 2 p.m. I hope my sanity lasts until then. There aren't very many good daycares/preschools in this area. He was such a good-natured child until 2. He started preschool a month later. I don't know if there is a correlation there.
Sorry to ramble. I know the language delays are prone to behavioral problems, but sometimes it just seems too much to handle.
Thanks for listening.
It's hard to believe such a sweet face could cause so much turmoil. I'm pretty depressed.
ETA: I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your thoughts. Especially Ange, who I will now refer to as "The Rock." Your encouragement and one-half a nerve pill just may get me through tomorrow. Will update.